How to Write Funeral Thank You Notes


By Emma Castleberry

When someone dies, a grieving person can often find themselves surrounded by supportive friends, family, and even strangers. Because loss is a universal experience, the people around a grieving person are eager to help. Whether it’s because of a sympathy card, food, flowers, or just a kind word, you might find yourself feeling immense gratitude for your living loved ones before, during, and after a funeral.
This gratitude, along with long-standing etiquette practice, often inspires people to write thank you notes after a funeral. Expressing thanks has been scientifically proven to increase happiness and stave off sadness, so writing funeral thank you notes can not only bring joy to those who recieve the cards, but also to the person writing it.

Who Should Get a Funeral Thank You Note?

If you choose to write funeral thank you notes, the first step is making a list of recipients. If you’ve just hosted a funeral for hundreds of guests, or even dozens, it might not make sense for you to write a thank you note to everyone for their attendance. It is entirely up to you who to send funeral thank you cards to.

Perhaps you choose to only write notes for people who were actively involved in the funeral planning process, or only for those who brought food to the reception. Some etiquette manuals say thank you notes are only expected for those who brought flowers or other gifts—if someone only sent a card, you don’t need to respond with another card. Other options for recipients might include the funeral home staff, clergy, pallbearers, or people who spoke at the funeral.

Ultimately, you should send notes to those who you feel grateful for, but without overwhelming yourself with tasks.

What Should a Funeral Thank You Card Say?

Your note should come from the heart—there is no stiff format for a thank you note. Especially if you are writing several thank you notes, keep your sentiments brief. You don’t want to add stress to a difficult time, and there is no need to write an essay of gratitude. Some common sentiments for funeral thank you notes:

  • Thank you for your kind words at _____’s funeral service.
  • Thank you for supporting our family during this difficult time.
  • Your presence and help were very meaningful to me.
  • Your thoughtfulness was very kind and will always be remembered.

How to Sign and Address a Funeral Thank You Note

Signing any card can sometimes seem challenging. If “Love” seems to personal, and “Sincerely” seems to unfamiliar, some other good options include:

  • With Gratitude,
  • Your Friend,
  • With Fondness,

Collecting addresses for everyone can also be one of the daunting tasks associated with writing thank you notes. Remember, the note doesn’t have to be a surprise. Don’t be afraid to call, text, or email a person and ask for their mailing address.

Another easy way to collect addresses is to have a guest book at the funeral, in which everyone writes down their address. Don’t hesitate to ask a friend to collect some addresses on your behalf, too.

Do What You Can

While funeral thank you cards should be written as quickly as possible after the funeral, don’t put too much pressure on yourself. The most important thing to remember is that no one is expecting a thank you note. Everyone recognizes that this is a difficult, confusing time, and you are granted a reprieve from perfect etiquette during your loss.

If you choose to write funeral thank you notes, take your time. While demonstrating your gratitude can make you feel better, it shouldn’t become a burden.

Contact Us

6051 East Seven Mile Road,
Detroit, MI
(East of Mound Road)

Direct Line: 313-893-1880
Fax: 313-891-1758

Hutchison Funeral Home

6051 East Seven Mile Road,

Detroit, MI 48234

Phone. 313-893-1880

Fax. 313-891-1758