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What to Expect at a National Cemetery Funeral

info@engageyourbiz.com (Engage Team) — Mon, 19 Nov 2018 06:45:50 GMT

While there are certain standards of etiquette that apply to all funerals, the funeral process at a national cemetery is slightly different than a traditional cemetery. Knowing what to expect at a funeral or memorial service can make the process more comfortable for everyone involved. If you are going to a ceremony for a deceased veteran at a national cemetery, here is what to expect.

National Cemeteries Don’t Host Funerals

It’s important to be aware that national cemeteries don’t have the facilities to host traditional funeral services or open-casket viewing. Sometimes, families will choose to have a funeral prior to the ceremony at the national cemetery.
The service that is held at a national cemetery is called “final committal service” and it is held at a committal shelter. When you arrive at the national cemetery, there will be an official to direct you to the proper committal shelter (there are often several of these shelters at a national cemetery). The final committal service usually lasts less than half an hour and can include (or not include) military honors .

Flowers

At most national cemeteries, it is appropriate for the family to provide flowers for the service. These will often travel with the urn or casket from the committal shelter to the gravesite and ultimately be placed on the filled grave. Each national cemetery has an individualized floral policy, so it’s important to confirm that your arrangement is welcome.

You Can Visit the Grave... Later

Funeral attendees are welcome to visit the grave of the veteran after the work day is over, but not immediately after the committal service.

Arlington National Cemetery is Differen t

Arlington National Cemetery, which honors between 27 and 30 deceased veterans each day, has a slightly different process. Attendees will meet at one of four meeting points in or around the cemetery and should plan to arrive between 30 and 45 minutes before the service because of security procedures.

Arlington National Cemetery often has funeral processions and military honors can be performed at the gravesite, unlike other national cemeteries. During the honors, which are performed after the graveside service, the family will stand but other attendees are free to sit. After honors, an Arlington lady may present a card of condolences. This is the conclusion of the service and attendees will return to their cars.

7 Poems for a Funeral

info@engageyourbiz.com (Engage Team) — Mon, 06 Aug 2018 00:00:00 GMT

Poetry is an ancient form of written word that can bring immense comfort in times of grief. Death and loss are timeless subjects that have been explored by some of the greatest poets in history. If you have been asked to speak at a funeral, these poems can make excellent choices for readings. They can provide comfort and light during a dark and challenging time.

1. Death is Nothing At All by Henry Scott Holland

Henry Scott Holland was a Professor of Divinity at Oxford and a canon of Christ Church in the late 1800s and early 1900s. This poem wasn’t a poem when it was first read, but a sermon written by the professor after King Henry’s death in 1910. The poem imbues listeners with a comforting sense that, though the deceased is gone, they are still close in heart and spirit.

2. A Child of Mine by Edgar Guest

A deeply religious work, this poem is written from the perspective of Christ as a message to those who have loved the deceased, his child. It celebrates the honor of loving and caring for someone while they enjoy their earthly life, while also providing solace that the deceased has moved on to be with his Maker.

3. If I should die by Emily Dickinson

Emily Dickinson is a recognizable name and her short, sometimes tragic, poetry has resonated with readers for centuries. This brief piece uses imagery of the natural world—“If birds should build as early/And bees as bustling go,”—to remind the audience that the world keeps turning. Death and loss can feel enormous and all-consuming, and this poem is a small, beautiful reminder that life goes on even as we experience grief. This idea is hopeful, because it means that we may someday be able to return to normality, if a bit changed.

4. Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep by Mary Elizabeth Frye

Like Death is Nothing At All, this poem reminds the reader that, though the deceased is gone in body, they are still present in spirit. This idea—that we carry our loved ones with us through experiences like feeling “the gentle autumn rain” or seeing “the diamond glints on snow,”—is a popular one that provides closure and peace during the sad occasion of a funeral.

5. Nothing Gold Can Stay by Robert Frost

Another recognizable poet, Robert Frost was deeply inspired by nature. This poem outwardly appears to be about the seasons, which always change. It highlights the march of time that none of us can escape. This poem is a popular reading for funerals because it parallels the deceased with something gold—a good friend, a dear family member, no matter how loved, can never stay forever.

6. O Captain! My Captain! by Walt Whitman

Another popular choice for funeral readings, Walt Whitman’s O Captain! My Captain! was written after the assassination of Abraham Lincoln. This poem, a bit darker than the previous ones on this list, still carries a sense of honor for the deceased. It is a popular choice for veterans or those who have worked together. While some of the images in the poem are forlorn, there is also a sense of celebration and positivity to the achievements of the deceased: “For you bouquets and ribbon'd wreaths—for you the shores a-crowding.”

7. Dirge Without Music by Edna St. Vincent Millay

This poem is a very relatable one for a funeral. It is about the reluctance to accept death, despite its inevitability. Readers of this poem make positive associations with the deceased through lines like, “Gently they go, the beautiful, the tender, the kind/Quietly they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave,” while also acknowledging the difficulty of loss.

The Right Poem for You

These are some of the most classic choices. While you might want to find a new or unique poem to read at a funeral (or even write your own), there can be immense comfort in a reading this is familiar to you and the audience. Choose a reading that resonates with you and brings you peace, and it is sure to be a wonderful addition to the funeral.

How to Create a Funeral Program

info@engageyourbiz.com (Engage Team) — Mon, 23 Jul 2018 00:00:00 GMT

The program is a small and easy-to-forget part of a well-planned, organized funeral or memorial service. Sometimes called an order of service, the funeral program is a simple brochure or pamphlet that you hand out to guests. This document outlines the process of the service (what will happen) and sometimes includes a brief overview of the life milestones and achievements of the deceased.

As with many features in a funeral or memorial service, programs are not “required,” but they can be a pleasant feature that honors the deceased and provides attendees with happy memories. If you decide to create programs for a funeral service, here are some tips.

Do It Yourself or Outsource

While planning a funeral is often an overwhelming duty, you might be able to find time to make your own funeral programs. Sometimes, outlining the life of your loved one can even be therapeutic and healing. It can also help you visualize the process of the funeral or memorial service, which can be comforting.

If creating the program sounds too difficult or you just don’t have time, you can also outsource this duty to a printer or online service who will create and mail you the programs. You will still need to provide the information to be included in the program and an image of the deceased. The printer will also want some guidance about type of paper, art to be included, and font for the program.

What to Include in a Funeral Program

A funeral program is often a folded document, much like a greeting card. In this style, the cover includes a large image of the deceased, their name and life and death dates. The inside pages are for the obituary and the order of events for the service. You can also include copies of scripture readings or poems that will be delivered at the service.

Another option, which also saves money, is to create a one page program. In this style, you can include a small image of the deceased at the top of the page, their name and life dates, and the order of events. You also have the option of including a short obituary on the back on the page, but it’s not necessary. Here is a short checklist if what to include in the funeral program:

An image of the deceased
Their full name
Dates of birth and death
Order of events for service
Obituary ( click here to read more about how to write an obituary)

Funeral Program Templates

If you’ve chosen to create and print your own funeral programs, templates can be very helpful. There are plenty of places that you can find these. Canva is a free website that allows you to download templates, enter your personal information and add design elements. QuickFuneral.com also offers a variety of templates that you can download and edit. While you are free to simply use Microsoft Word or another text editing software, templates can offer a more professional, polished look for your funeral program.

Are Funeral Programs Important?

Funeral programs can provide a more organized experience during the funeral for guests and the family of the deceased. During a time of grief, organization and simplicity are important. But the creation of a funeral program shouldn’t be a burden or another source of stress. If you have time, the program can be a useful addition to the memorial service, but it shouldn’t upset you further during a time of grief. Make the right decision for you and your circumstances when it comes to creating a funeral program.

How to Write Funeral Thank You Notes

info@engageyourbiz.com (Engage Team) — Mon, 09 Jul 2018 00:00:00 GMT

When someone dies, a grieving person can often find themselves surrounded by supportive friends, family, and even strangers. Because loss is a universal experience, the people around a grieving person are eager to help. Whether it’s because of a sympathy card, food, flowers, or just a kind word, you might find yourself feeling immense gratitude for your living loved ones before, during, and after a funeral.
This gratitude, along with long-standing etiquette practice, often inspires people to write thank you notes after a funeral. Expressing thanks has been scientifically proven to increase happiness and stave off sadness, so writing funeral thank you notes can not only bring joy to those who recieve the cards, but also to the person writing it.

Who Should Get a Funeral Thank You Note?

If you choose to write funeral thank you notes, the first step is making a list of recipients. If you’ve just hosted a funeral for hundreds of guests, or even dozens, it might not make sense for you to write a thank you note to everyone for their attendance. It is entirely up to you who to send funeral thank you cards to.

Perhaps you choose to only write notes for people who were actively involved in the funeral planning process, or only for those who brought food to the reception. Some etiquette manuals say thank you notes are only expected for those who brought flowers or other gifts—if someone only sent a card, you don’t need to respond with another card. Other options for recipients might include the funeral home staff, clergy, pallbearers, or people who spoke at the funeral.

Ultimately, you should send notes to those who you feel grateful for, but without overwhelming yourself with tasks.

What Should a Funeral Thank You Card Say?

Your note should come from the heart—there is no stiff format for a thank you note. Especially if you are writing several thank you notes, keep your sentiments brief. You don’t want to add stress to a difficult time, and there is no need to write an essay of gratitude. Some common sentiments for funeral thank you notes:

Thank you for your kind words at _____’s funeral service.
Thank you for supporting our family during this difficult time.
Your presence and help were very meaningful to me.
Your thoughtfulness was very kind and will always be remembered.

How to Sign and Address a Funeral Thank You Note

Signing any card can sometimes seem challenging. If “Love” seems to personal, and “Sincerely” seems to unfamiliar, some other good options include:

With Gratitude,
Your Friend,
With Fondness,

Collecting addresses for everyone can also be one of the daunting tasks associated with writing thank you notes. Remember, the note doesn’t have to be a surprise. Don’t be afraid to call, text, or email a person and ask for their mailing address.

Another easy way to collect addresses is to have a guest book at the funeral, in which everyone writes down their address. Don’t hesitate to ask a friend to collect some addresses on your behalf, too.

Do What You Can

While funeral thank you cards should be written as quickly as possible after the funeral, don’t put too much pressure on yourself. The most important thing to remember is that no one is expecting a thank you note. Everyone recognizes that this is a difficult, confusing time, and you are granted a reprieve from perfect etiquette during your loss.

If you choose to write funeral thank you notes, take your time. While demonstrating your gratitude can make you feel better, it shouldn’t become a burden.

4 Tips for Preparing for your Funeral

info@engageyourbiz.com (Engage Team) — Mon, 25 Jun 2018 00:00:00 GMT

Death and funerals, while unpleasant for many of us to consider, are inevitable occurances that we need to prepare for, both emotionally and financially. As one gets older, the burden of care falls on younger, and often less financially stable, family members. This reality makes it all the more important that the elders within a family provide clear and practical next steps upon their death. No one wants their family’s grief and sadness to be compounded with financial stress.
There are a number of ways for individuals to set aside money for their funeral services. Here are some tips and strategies.

1. Be Realistic

Coming face-to-face with funeral costs can be jarring for some. The products, services and planning that go into creating a beautiful celebration of life can be expensive—there is no way around this. So it’s important to always remain aware of your personal financial standing and that of your family. It is possible to plan a beautiful memorial service without spending a fortune, it just requires some advanced planning and good advice from a trustworthy funeral director.

2. Set a Budget

One way to be realistic is by setting a firm budget for yourself. Decide how much money you can afford to spend on your final celebration without burdening your fmaily with too many extra costs. Once you have set this number, it will allow you to be more decisive in your choices and realize what plans or dreams might have been a little beyond your financial means.

3. Shop Around

Some people have an attachment to a particular funeral home, which often has long-term significance within the family. If you are unattached to a particular home, and live in a reasonably-sized city or town, you likely have several choices of where to host your funeral service. Take your time, meet with a few homes and funeral directors, and choose the one that works best for you and your budget. Remember that this is the company that your family will be working with after your death, so it might be reasonable to let them have some input, as well.

4. Set Aside the Money

Setting aside money for a funeral can take many forms. You can literally place the money into the hands of the person who will be planning your funeral, but this is usually ill-advised—you have no control over what that money is used for, beyond expressing your wishes to the funeral planner. Irrevocable Funeral Trusts (IFTs) are another option, which we discussed in our last blog post.

Many people choose to prepay for their funeral with a specific home. This not only ensures that your ceremony goes exactly as you intended, but it also locks in the prices at a current rate and prevents you from paying more because of inflation. The downsides to this strategy are that your chosen home might go out of business or you might move to a new area, which would require reassessment of this financial agreement. That said, prepayment is one of the most popular strategies for financially preparing for a funeral.

A third way to set aside money for a funeral is with earmarked funds ina life insurance policy. These policies are called “permanent policies” instead of the more common “life-term policies.”

Preparation is Key

Whatever choices you make, the most important thing is that you make the choices. It’s unfair to leave all the decision making—and all the payment—to your family members. Especially if you have specific ideas about your memorialization, you need to ensure that a plan is in place before your death.

What is an Irrevocable Funeral Trust

info@engageyourbiz.com (Engage Team) — Mon, 11 Jun 2018 00:00:00 GMT

Planning for the eventuality of your funeral is always advised. By establishing your desires and arranging things as much as possible, you save your loved ones a lot of stress and overwhelm at the time of your death. One of the ways you can help your family after you have passed away is by establishing an Irrevocable Funeral Trust now.

What is an Irrevocable Funeral Trust?

Irrevocable Funeral Trusts are sometimes called I.F. Trusts, IFTs, Irrevocable Burial Trusts or Irrevocable Funeral Expense Trusts (IFET). An Irrevocable Funeral Trust is, quite simply, money set aside by an individual for the purpose of paying for that individual’s funeral expenses.

The word “irrevocable” is very significant in this phrase: once money is set onto an I.F. Trust, it cannot be moved, eliminated or changed in any way other than for its determined purpose (paying for funeral expenses). The individual no longer owns this money, it belongs to the trust and ultimately, the trust’s beneficiary: the provider of funeral services.

IFTs can pay for almost any services associated with a funeral, including the burial plot, embalming, the casket, and a variety of other expenses as defined by the trust document.

Advantage of an Irrevocable Funeral Trust

The primary intention of a trust is to reduce the stress on your family. Upon your death, your family will be grieving a loss. No one wants to have to crunch numbers and go shopping—it can be a very painful process to plan and pay for a funeral. A funeral trust saves your family from this stress.

Disadvantage of an Irrevocable Funeral Trust

The primary disadvantage of an irrevocable funeral trust is that costs can change. Because of inflation, it’s possible that the money you put in a funeral trust will not be adequate to cover funeral expenses by the time you die.

Irrevocable Funeral Trusts and Medicaid

Some people choose to put money in an IFT because it helps them to qualify for Medicaid. The money in an IFT doesn’t count as an asset and can therefore reduce a person’s countable assets, which then allows that person to qualify for Medicaid. That said, there are often limitations to the amount of money that can be placed in an Irrevocable Funeral Trust. These limitations are established by the state.

How to Establish an Irrevocable Funeral Trust

The first step in establishing an irrevocable funeral trust is to contact an estate planning attorney. The process of settuping up a trust such as this is a legal matter and should be completed with someone you trust. If you have a funeral home in mind for your funeral services, ensure that it will accept proceeds from the fund as payment, because some funeral homes do not.

Keep Your Family Updated

It’s important, with any legal document or end-of-life planning, to keep your family members and loved ones aware of your plans. Discuss this financial decision with you next of kin and ensure that everyone has a copy of the documents related to your IFT. This can help to expedite the process of accessing the funds when the time comes.

IFTs are not the only option for financial preparation in regards to your death and funeral. Other options, such as funeral insurance and funeral pre-payment, have become more popular in recent years. However you decide to prepare, your loved ones will be grateful you did so.

How to Write and Deliver A Eulogy at a Funeral

info@engageyourbiz.com (Engage Team) — Mon, 28 May 2018 00:00:00 GMT

One of the most important parts of most funeral services is the eulogy. A eulogy is a speech that celebrates the life of the deceased. Some funerals will have more than one eulogy, and some funerals will have no eulogy at all. Often, the family members that are planning the funeral will request a eulogy from friend or close loved one. The religious officiant of the funeral can also deliver the eulogy.

What Should I Include in a Eulogy?

Your eulogy should definitely include the things you loved about the deceased. The speech meant to be personal but also relatable, so while you should include anecdotes unique to your experience with the deceased, you should also include other stories from friends and family members.

When possible, humor is always a good idea—funerals can be stressful and tense, and a little joke can go a long way to making guests feel more comfortable. But humor isn’t always accessible when you’re grieving a loved one, so don’t try to tell a funny story unless it comes to you naturally.

If you are uncomfortable taking an emotional approach to a eulogy, it is also acceptable to highlight a person’s accomplishments and milestones in life. Mention their marriage, children and career, or discuss hobbies and passions.

How Long Should a Eulogy Be?

Like any speech, a eulogy shouldn’t be too long—never more than 10 minutes. Short and sweet is a good rule of thumb, but it’s also important not to be hasty or casual when writing and delivering a eulogy. Eulogies generally last between three and five minutes.

The length of your eulogy will depend on how fast you speak. Generally, between 400 and 900 written words will make for an appropriately timed eulogy when delivered orally.

Tips for Delivering a Eulogy

Above all, you must practice delivering your eulogy. It’s not enough to simply write the speech—you need to say it out loud several times to become comfortable with how it sounds.

When speaking publicly, remember not to rush—this is a common mistake and it makes your speech hard to understand. You should speak slowly enough that it feels a little unnatural. Also, use pauses throughout your eulogy so you can take a breath or a drink of water, and people can have time to process your words.

Try to notice and eliminate ticks like tapping your fingers, playing with your hair, or wringing you hands. These little habits are often unconscious to you but they can be distracting to the audience.

Your Eulogy Will Be Perfect

If the funeral planner requested a eulogy from you, it means they have faith in your ability to honor their loved one and you will undoubtedly rise to the occasion. Even if your eulogy wasn’t specifically requested, speaking from the heart is guaranteed to convey your sympathy for the family and your appreciation of the deceased. Remember that a eulogy is part of the grieving process for you and everyone else, so don’t put too much pressure on yourself.

Honoring Those Who Served

info@engageyourbiz.com (Engage Team) — Mon, 30 Apr 2018 00:00:00 GMT

Did you know that you or your loved one can receive Military Funeral Honors even if the funeral is not at a Veteran National Cemetery? Not only is it possible to receive these honors for a service held in a private funeral home and cemetery, but their availability for eligible veterans is mandated by Public Law 106-65.

What are Military Funeral Honors?

The most basic services included in Military Funeral Honors are the folding and presenting of the flag (often to the widow/widower or next of kin) and the playing of taps. This process will be performed by a pair of Armed Forces members, one of whom will be from the deceased’s parent Service.

If the body is transported, the flag will often be placed over the casket. This tradition goes back to the Napoleonic Wars when the bodies of fallen soldiers were removed from the battlefield wrapped in the flag. The flag usually remains on the casket for the bulk of the graveside service until the rifle volley.

If the ceremony is held at a national cemetery, a team will fire three volleys from their rifles. The three volleys historically signaled a ceasefire and a time to clear the battlefield of casualties. Often mistaken for the 21-gun salute, the rifle volley typically precedes the playing of taps.

Taps is a bugle tune (a live bugler will be provided when possible, but they are rather rare and often a recording is played) from the Civil War era. The composition was originally played to alert army camps to turn the lights out for sleep and has grown into a traditional musical farewell for service members.

Before the casket is lowered, this flag is removed from the casket and folded by the two Armed Services members. The flag is folded in a very specific way that leaves only stars showing on one side. The presentation of this flag to the next of kin is a symbol of gratitude for their sacrifice.

Eligibility for Military Funeral Honors

As long as the military member was not dishonorably discharged, he or she is likely eligible for military funeral honors. The easiest way to confirm a loved one’s eligibility is to fill out DD Form 214, which will certify that the deceased was released or discharged from active duty. You can request this form from the National Archives .

How to Request Military Funeral Honors

The request for these honors is the responsibility of the funeral director . Once a family member expresses the desire to have these honors enacted at their loved one’s funeral, the funeral director will contact the military branch and arrange details. If the funeral is being held at a Veteran National Cemetery, the Administration will be the family’s point of contact for establishing these honors.

Funeral Benefits for Veterans

info@engageyourbiz.com (Engage Team) — Mon, 16 Apr 2018 00:00:00 GMT

If you or a loved one is recognized as an American veteran, there are ways to potentially reduce or supplement the cost of a funeral and/or memorial service.

The definition of veteran under federal law is very broad: “a person who served in the active military, naval, or air service and who was discharged or released under conditions other than dishonorable.” For a veteran to be eligible for funeral benefits, it is also important they were not dishonorably discharged. Any other type of discharge does not preclude them from funeral benefits.

It’s possible that you might not have knowledge of your loved one’s service, especially if the deceased is a distant relative or friend. Therefore, it’s worth finding out if the funeral your planning is for a veteran. If so, you will have access to a variety of resources not available for civilian funerals.

Burial Benefits

Most veterans are eligible for burial in one of more than 130 national cemeteries (where there is space available). These national cemetery burials include:

the digging and filling of the grave,
a Presidential Memorial Certificate signed by the current president,
an official marker or headstone,
a burial flag,
and perpetual care for the grave,

... all at zero cost to the veteran or his/her family. This process can be completed with a casket or ashes.

The National Cemetery Scheduling Office is the point of contact for burial benefits. The office will determine the deceased’s eligibility and walk the funeral planner through the process of scheduling and organizing a funeral at a national cemetery. You can’t reserve a spot in a national cemetery, but you can determine your eligibility in advance.

Burial Allowances

If you’d prefer to host a funeral and burial in your local, family funeral home and church cemetery, veteran families can still qualify for allowances to offset the cost of these ceremonies. This allowance can range from $300 to $2,000 and you can even be reimbursed for a funeral you planned and paid for years ago. Written proof will be required; often in the form of receipts and a letter from the funeral director.

There is an online application for burial allowances at vets.gov . Naturally, there are some limitations to these benefits. They will not be paid if the veteran died during active service or was a federal prisoner, for example. If a veteran chooses to be buried in a national cemetery, these allowances can offset the cost of transporting the body to the cemetery.

Markers, Gravestones and Medallions

Depending on when the veteran died, his or her grave may be eligible for a free gravestone, marker or medallion provided by The Department of Veteran Affairs. Gravestones and markers come in a variety of materials—granite, bronze, marble—and markers are also available for columbarium niches .

A Presidential Memorial Certificate and a burial flag can also be provided free of charge. While the items themselves are free, the cost of installation for these pieces will be incurred by the family.

A Ceremony Worthy of a Veteran

Veterans who have served our country deserve the utmost honor in their memorial and funeral ceremonies. Benefits are available to make these final moments beautiful and worthy of the hero who has passed.

Ideas for a Spring Funeral

info@engageyourbiz.com (Engage Team) — Mon, 02 Apr 2018 00:00:00 GMT

It can be especially hard to lose a loved one in the spring, when the blooming flowers, green grass and bright, sunny days in the natural world seem incongruous with inner grief and sadness. But the spring time can be a wonderful time to host a memorial or funeral service. Springtime means renewal, rebirth and life—all of which can be happily celebrated upon a loved one’s passing.

Consider an Outdoor Location

The more reliably warm and sunny weather of spring makes it possible to host a memorial service outdoors without fear of bad weather. While many regions get a lot of rain in the spring, the weather around these rainstorms is often pleasant and ideal for an outdoor ceremony of some sort.

While a traditional burial service is always outside because the burial plot is in an outdoor cemetery, the spring makes it possible to host the entire funeral ceremony outside instead of just the burial portion. While this can provide convenience for everyone involved and also negates the need for a hearse and processional, some families might choose to make the lowering of the casket a private affair exclusively for nuclear family members. This doesn’t mean you can’t have an outdoor ceremony in another location, perhaps a backyard or outdoor destination that was special to the deceased, and then move to the cemetery for the burial. Just be sure to confirm that you are permitted to use the space if it is public, such as a park.

Also, you’ll need to have more accessories for an outdoor ceremony that you might not consider for an indoor funeral, such as chairs, a tent, tables and a podium for the speaker.

Use Spring Colors

Springtime brings with it bursts of color which can provide a dramatic contrast to the neutrals of a traditional funeral. Pastel greens, blues and pinks evoke ideas of spring and fit well into a spring-themed funeral, but other options for color themes include any shade of green (including more bold options like emerald green and Kelly green), as well as turquoises and browns. Consider tying colored ribbons around the pews or chairs, dressing the deceased in a spring-colored outfit, or using a color scheme to choose funeral flowers.

A note of warning: it can be easy to go overboard with color at any ceremony, especially a funeral, and this can start to look tacky. Try to keep your color arrangement to a few complementary colors and don’t hesitate to include a few neutrals to keep things classy.

Use Spring Flowers

Flowers are the greatest vehicle for communicating the vitality of spring. Not only do flowers fit in with the spring theme, but there will also be a wider variety of blooms available to funeral planners at this time of year.

Some of the traditional spring-time flowers include the yellow-white daffodil, which is plentiful in March and April, the rich purple, pink and blue pansy, and the multi-colored tulip. Sweet peas, peonies and camellias are other spring-time options. You could also consider hosting the ceremony in a place with natural blooms, such as a botanical garden, or a backyard awash with rhododendrons, azaleas or crocuses.

A Celebration of Life

While grief can be a dark emotion, a spring-themed funeral or memorial service can serve as a light to combat that darkness. Creating a positive, colorful, fresh environment in which to celebrate your loved one can be therapeutic and this vibrant season offers the perfect venue for that.

6 Unexpected Things To Do with Cremains

info@engageyourbiz.com (Engage Team) — Mon, 19 Mar 2018 00:00:00 GMT

After a cremation, most family members choose to scatter the ashe s or store the cremains in an urn . But there are a variety of other, creative options after a loved one is cremated.

1. Internment
Instead of scattering ashes or keeping them in an urn, some families choose to bury ashes. This option, called interment (not to be confused with internment, which means imprisonment), has become so popular that many cemeteries now have a section reserved for interment of ashes. Interment can be a more affordable option than traditional burial because less space is required.

2. Columbariums
Columbariums, also called cremation niches, are like mausoleums but for cremated remains. Mausoleums are buildings that hold a body, somewhat like a tomb, while columbariums hold drawers or urns of ashes. These alcoves, often located in cemeteries or churches, can sometimes also hold small keepsakes along with the person’s cremains.

3. Tattoos
The trend of commemorative or ritual tattoos , in which a loved one’s ashes are mixed into ink and tattooed on the body, has gained popularity in recent years. There is healthy debate about the health risks of this practice. Some medical professionals argue that there are always risks associated with foreign substances in the body, while proponents say that the amount of ash used in the ink is microscopic and sterilized, so it presents no real risk. Either way, it’s an option that’s available to you.

4. Balloons
A more exciting version of ash scattering, some people choose to have the ashes of their loved one placed into a helium balloon. The balloon travels about five miles above Earth’s surface, freezes and bursts, scattering the ashes into the atmosphere at random.

5. Stained Glass
Another unique way to create a memorial of your loved one is by having their cremains used in glass artwork. Ashes can be suspended in a piece of blown-glass artwork for a timeless and beautiful memorial.

6. Paint
If a piece of visual art appeals to you, some artists will mix ashes with their paint and create a mural or portrait from the product. This can provide a quick and satisfying memorial for family left behind. You can even spread the ash-infused paints among several canvases to give as gifts. If you’re artistically inclined, this can be a DIY project, too.

Take Your Time
This decision of what to do with someone’s ashes comes after a long, trying time of decision making. Many people are exhausted after grieving a loved one, planning a funeral or memorial service, spreading the news and visiting with well-meaning family for days on end. Sometimes, it can seem impossible to make another decision.

Luckily, the ashes aren’t going anywhere. If you decide to keep them in an urn on your mantel, they will still be there in a year or two or more. You can take your time making the decision of what to do with your loved one’s ashes and it’s never too late to take part in any of these activities.

How to Choose an Urn for your Loved One's Ashes

info@engageyourbiz.com (Engage Team) — Mon, 05 Mar 2018 00:00:00 GMT

A decision often associated with cremation is choosing an urn that will hold the ashes or cremains of your loved one. While some people choose to have their ashes scattered after cremation, others choose to remain with their family in an urn or have their ashes buried in an urn.

While the word “urn” has come to mean any container that contains the ashes of a cremated person, the typical shape for an urn is rounded with a tapered base and a stem neck. Contemporary urns can take a variety of different shapes, styles, colors and sizes.

Choosing an urn, like all decisions associated with death and the celebration of a life, can be overwhelming and sometimes complicated. Here is a guide to help with choosing and purchasing an urn for your loved one’s ashes.

Factors to Consider

There are three primary factors to consider when choosing an urn:

Size
Material
Style

While your choice of material and style will be a matter of personal taste, the size of your urn will depend on a number of other factors.

How to Choose an Appropriately Sized Urn

Determining urn size requires knowledge of the cremated person’s weight upon death as well as knowledge of the urn categories available to you. A common rule of thumb is that you need a cubic inch of space within the urn for every pound of weight before cremation.

Urns usually come in four sizes: adult, keepsake, child and companion. An adult urn is sized to hold a person who weighed between 180 and 200 pounds upon their cremation. A keepsake urn is designed to hold just a small part of the person’s ashes, often used to spread the ashes among family members or different places. Child urns are larger than keepsake urns but smaller than adult urns—sized to fit a child’s cremains. Companion urns provide a vessel for two people who wished to be urned together, such as a married couple. These are larger and can usually hold the resulting ashes of a combined weight of 300 pounds before cremation.

Of course, when choosing urn size, it is better to be cautious and end up with a little too much space than not enough. Additionally, considering where you will put the urn might impact the size: ensure that the dimensions of the urn will fit in that space.

Choosing the Right Material For An Urn

Urns can be made of mostly any material, which can make this decision daunting. Ceramic or metal urns are more traditional, but urns are also available in glass, wood and stone.

When choosing the material for an urn, it’s important to consider where the urn will be placed after the funeral and/or memorial is over. If, for instance, the urn will be on a low shelf in a house with children and pets, it might be best to choose a durable material like aluminum or brass that can withstand bumps and falls. If you plan to bury the urn, there are a variety of biodegradeable urns available, as well. Cost will also be a factor when choosing the urn material.

Style and Design Choices for an Urn

The style of the urn can be deeply personalized. Custom-made urns, while expensive, allow loved ones to create any shape and design they wish. Artists can engrave messages on an urn, paint or tile an urn and even add photos, plaques and other memorabilia to the urn design.

All style choices will come at an additional cost.

Choose the Urn That’s Right For You

For those of us who will keep our loved one’s ashes, an urn is an investment. It is worth spending a little extra money now to ensure that your urn is durable, long-lasting and pays proper tribute to your loved one.

4 of the World's Most Famous Pet Cemeteries

info@engageyourbiz.com (Engage Team) — Mon, 19 Feb 2018 00:00:00 GMT

For as long as people have loved and mourned animals as pets—which is a long time—there has been a need for places to bury those pets. As far back as ancient times, archaeologists have discovered graves for animals that were loved as pets or even worshipped as deities. Here are a few of the world’s most impressive, historic pet cemeteries that demonstrate how important animals have been to human life for centuries.

1. Cimetiére des Chiens et Autres Animaux Domestiques

For those of us that don’t speak fluent French, this famous Parisian pet cemetery is known as the Cemetery of Dogs and Other Domestic Animals. Located in a suburb called Asnières-sur-Seine, the pet cemetery first opened in 1899 and is includes graves for more common animals like dogs, cats and horses, and also more obscure pets such as lions, fish and monkeys. The ornately decorated cemetery is open to the public and was designated as an historic monument in 1987.

2. Ashkelon Dog Cemetery

In the late nineties, an ancient dog cemetery was discovered in Israel’s Ashkelon National Park. Archaeologist Lawrence Stager and his team unearthed about 1,300 dog skeletons, estimated to be from between the fifth and third centuries B.C. More than half of the dogs were puppies and the burials appeared to be individual.

There is some debate about terming this large collection of graves a “cemetery,” which implies that it was a sacred area for burials. Instead, many think it was simply a matter of local tradition to bury the animals and it was done wherever there was space for a grave.

3. Hyde Park

One of London’s largest green spaces, Hyde Park, is home to a pet cemetery from the Victorian era. Hyde Park was first founded as a hunting ground by King Henry VIII in 1536. In 1881, the park’s gatekeeper allowed a family to bury their dog, Cherry, in the park. Cherry’s tiny tombstone can still be seen in the cemetery, which is located in the far northwest corner of the huge park.

By 1903, the Hyde Park pet cemetery had 300 graves and it was officially closed. Today, visitors can pay a fee to enter the park and see the rows of little headstones.

4. Hartsdale Pet Cemetery

Built in 1896, Hartsdale Pete Cemetery is home to more than 7,000 graves and tombs and the same amount of memorials. The largest and oldest pet cemetery in America, it was placed on the National Historic Registry in 2012.
Harstdale Pet Cemetery, also called Hartsdale Canine Cemetery, was established by New York’s first offical veterinarian, Samuel Johnson. The cemetery began when Johnson allowed a client to bury her dog on his apple orchard. After an article was written about this generosity, Johnson found himself inundated with grieving owners seeking a burial place for their pets and he gladly obliged. Hartsdale is now the final home of almost 70,000 well-loved former pets.
If you are mourning the death of a pet, the Hutchison Funeral Home can help memorialized and remember your pet through pet cremation services .

Tips for Scattering Ashes

info@engageyourbiz.com (Engage Team) — Mon, 05 Feb 2018 00:00:00 GMT

If you or a loved one has chosen to be cremated, you will also need to decide what to do with the ashes. While many families choose to keep the ashes of a loved one in an urn, others choose to have their ashes scattered or buried in one or more places. This practice can offer peace, solace and closure for surviving family members while memorializing the deceased, but it’s also important to respect and understand the rules and regulations associated with scattering ashes.

First Question: Where?

The choice of where to scatter a person’s ashes is an important one. Some people who have chosen to be cremated will state explicitly where they would like their ashes to end up, but others might not have been so clear. Often, the remaining family members will choose a place or places that were special to the person. This can take time and multiple discussions before a decision is made.

This is complicated by the fact that you can choose to spread a person’s ashes in more than one place. Ashes, or cremains, can weigh between three and seven pounds. The cremains themselves can be scattered once in their entirety or split among several places or occasions.

Tips for Scattering Ashes

The rules and regulations for scattering ashes are nearly nonexistent. Most government agencies turn a blind eye to this practice, as is it generally harmless: human cremains are mostly just organic minerals. That said, here are a few guidelines.

Scattering at Sea

Boats or planes must be three nautical miles from shore before any ashes can be scattered in an ocean or sea. The EPA qualifies scattering ashes on the sea as “burial at sea.” This practice is only allowed for human remains, not that of pets. Additionally, you’ll need to notify the EPA within thirty days after the scattering.

Keep It Private

If you’re choosing to scatter on public land, you’ll want to keep the ceremony private. Try to stay 100 yards off trails and other public areas. If you’re planning to scatter ashes in a park or another public place, do a little research to see if you need a permit.

Be Prepared

A few things to note: cremains don’t look like fireplace ashes. They are more gravel-like, whiter, and often include shards of bone. Be prepared for this when you open the container. Furthermore, ashes will stick to your skin. If you choose to scatter the ashes with your hand, bring something along for post-scattering clean up.

The scattering of ashes is often a memorial ceremony for most people and it can be structured any way you choose. You can bring friends and family or go by yourself. You can take photos or simply enjoy the moment. Find your own way of saying goodbye and allow this process to bring you closure.

5 of America's Oldest and Most famous Cemeteries

info@engageyourbiz.com (Engage Team) — Mon, 22 Jan 2018 00:00:00 GMT

Cemeteries have been a necessity to American life for as long as people have needed burials, which means there are plenty of historic graveyards across the US. Here are some of the country’s oldest and most famous cemeteries.

1. Myles Standish Burial Ground

Naturally, most of the country’s oldest burial grounds are in the northeast, where America was first settled. Yes, America is home to several cemeteries that are nearly as old as the country itself!

The Myles Standish Burial Ground is located in the town of Duxbury, Massachussets, near the first American settlement of Plymouth, where the Mayflower landed. In fact, many of the Mayflower pilgrims are buried at Myles Standish, including the cemetery’s namesake, Captain Myles Standish. The cemetery was first used in 1638, just 18 years after the pilgrims arrived at Plymouth. In 1789, the site was abandoned for about a century before being reclaimed by the Duxbury Royal Society. The Town of Duxbury now takes care of the cemetery and it was registered as a National Historic Place in 2015.

2. Old Burying Point

Also located in one of the nation’s oldest colonies, Old Burying Point was established in 1637 in Salem, Massachussetts. Home of the famous Salem Witch Trials, Salem established Old Burying Point fifty years before the trials began. None of those executed as a result of the trials are buried in this cemetery, but some of the people involved in the trials (including the judge who sentenced 20 innocent people to death) are buried here.

3. Arlington National Cemetery (1864)

Arlington National Cemetery is a major American landmark, with the graves of more than 400,000 soldiers located across 200 acres in Arlington, Virginia. Arlington’s first military burial was in 1864, but the property itself served many purposes before becoming a cemetery. Originally owned by the step-grandson of George Washington, federal troops used the land as a camp and headquarters during the Civil war. In 1863, the property also held a transitional space where former slaves could access food, education and medical care.

Arlington National Cemetery was born out of necessity because of the increasing Civil War deaths. The historic cemetery now hosts more than 3,000 military funeral services annually.

4. Calvary Cemetery

With its first burial in 1848, Calvary Cemetery in Queens has become the largest cemetery in the US with more than 3 million graves. After the original section of the cemetery filled in 1867, three more sections were opened. The cemetery saw a boom with the tuberculosis and cholera epidemics in the early 20th century, with nearly 200,000 burials in the decade following 1898.

5. Saint Louis Cemetery (1789)

Saint Louis Cemetery is actually three cemeteries located in New Orleans, Louisiana. The first was established just a block from the French Quarter in 1789 after a city-wide fire destroyed the city’s original cemetery. In 1823, Saint Louis No. 2 was established just a few blocks from No. 1, and No. 3 was established in 1854 even further from the French Quarter.

Saint Louis No. 1 is not only the oldest, but also the most well-known of the three cemeteries. One of the country’s most visited tombs is located in this cemetery: that of Marie Laveau, rumored to have been a Voodoo queen. Nicolas Cage also purchased a pyramid-shaped tomb at Saint Louis Cemetery No. 1.

How to Write an Obituary

info@engageyourbiz.com (Engage Team) — Mon, 08 Jan 2018 00:00:00 GMT

While they aren’t as popular as they were just a few decades ago, newspaper obituaries still have an important place in American society. These days, obituaries are often online—in the form of a Facebook tribute wall, for example—instead of in a newspaper. Whether you choose the traditional newspaper route or prefer to announce a death online, here are some tips and background.

History of the Obituary

Communities have made a practice of announcing deaths for centuries, even as far back as early Rome. The word obituary, like so many words in the English language, stems from a Latin word: obit, which means death. The Roman practice of announcing deaths in a daily newsletter was eventually carried over to America. In the early days, when printing a newspaper was a major undertaking, obituaries were quite short—even in the case of important people like George Washington .

Once newspapers became easier to produce with the arrival of inventions like the printing press, obituaries became a little longer and more detailed. Additionally, obituaries were used to alert relatives far and wide when Civil War soldiers died. By the late 1900s, obituaries had become long, drawn-out affairs and professionals were often hired to craft them.

Tips for Writing an Obituary

1. Pre-plan. Timeliness is often a factor for obituaries if you want to include information about the funeral or memorial service. If you write an obituary while someone is alive, it can save time and energy after the person has passed. Pre-planning an obituary can also allow the deceased to have input about what is important to them in this final, written memorial. While details about the funeral and memorial service will have to be added in later, this will complete the bulk of your work ahead of time and reduce stress.

2. Decide on the length before you start. The amount of space you can afford to purchase (many obituaries are charged by line or word count) will be a great starting point for what you should include in an obituary. The most basic obituary usually includes the following:

The deceased’s full name
The date and location of death
Details about the funeral or memorial, if public
Instructions for where to send flowers or make donations

Beyond this information, many people choose to elaborate on the person’s life with information like who they married and when, who survives them (often children and grandchildren), education, hobbies or occupation.

3. Proofread. T here is perhaps nothing worse than a typo in a public death announcement. Once you are happy with the obituary, read it multiple times and pass it off to two or three people to proofread it for you. This will ensure the obituary is free from typos and mistakes.

Where to Post an Obituary

Traditionally, obituaries are posted in local newspapers. Obituaries are rarely free—most newspapers charge between $200 and $500 for an obituary, depending on the publication and length. Information on the process and cost of submitting an obituary is will be available on the newspaper’s website. Legacy.com also features a database of newspapers and their obituary policies.

One of the easiest ways to handle an obituary is to let your funeral home handle it for you. Funeral directors often know exactly who to contact and how to get obituaries posted quickly and easily, and most are happy to do it as part of their services .

How to Choose a Casket?

info@engageyourbiz.com (Engage Team) — Tue, 26 Dec 2017 00:00:00 GMT

If you or a loved one has decided on a traditional burial , one of the many choices associated with that process is the type of coffin or casket one will be laid to rest in. As a person’s final resting place, this selection is an important one and offers many opportunities for personalization and tribute to the deceased.

What’s the Difference Between a Coffin and a Casket?

The first decision one must make is the type of burial vessel: coffin or casket? Coffin is the term for a long, narrow burial vessel. A traditional coffin is more narrow at the head and foot, with the broadest section around the shoulders. “Casket” is a term that refers to a different design: caskets are more rectangular, sometimes with rounded corners.

Caskets tend to be more high-quality items and made of better materials. The term “casket” initially referred to a jewelry or treasure box common among Europeans in the 20th century. When undertakers began decorating coffins with great care, people began making a comparison between the jewelry cases and the burial vessels, which led to the term “burial casket.”

Material

Caskets are generally made of either metal or wood. Wooden caskets tend to be decorated with many of the design elements associated with furniture and often take on the natural color of the selected wood grain—elm, maple and ash are popular wood types for caskets. Metal caskets are made of bronze, copper or steel and can be painted just about any color.

Personalization

There are a variety of ways to personalize a loved one’s casket. Many people choose to decorate a casket with images on either the inside or the outside of the vessel. Caskets can also be engraved with a message or the loved ones name and life dates.

Cost

Because this will be the final resting place for a dear loved one, the cost of a casket tends to be one of the largest investments made as part of a funeral. Fortunately, caskets are less expensive than they used to be. While a basic casket used to run about $2500, there are standard options for as little as $995 now.

The price depends on somewhat on the material. The most affordable options for caskets are ones made out of easy-to-find hardwoods like poplar and pine. A standard steel casket is also a budget-friendly option. These choices run between $900 and $2500.

The next step up would be a nicer hardwood like maple, cherry or oak, which will run you between $2500 and $4500. Bronze and copper caskets start in this price range as well, with prices going up to $10,000 for these metals.
Walnut and mahogany are some of the finest woods available for caskets, so they cost upwards of $5,000.

If you do not plan to use the casket as a burial vessel, it is possible in most places to rent a casket for a wake or visitation.

It’s Your Choice

The Federal Trade Commission’s Funeral Rule ensures that you can shop around for caskets. While you don’t have to purchase them at the funeral home you’ll be using, it can be a comfort to work with a funeral director you know and trust for this important purchase. The funeral directors at Hutchison Funeral Home are always available to provide help and guidance with these challenging decisions.

How to Choose a Headstone?

info@engageyourbiz.com (Engage Team) — Mon, 11 Dec 2017 00:00:00 GMT

If a loved one has chosen to have a traditional burial in a cemetery, it is likely that you will be responsible for choosing a headstone for their grave. Like all funeral-related matters, this is something that, if possible, should be discussed before a person passes away so that you can include their input and preferences when you make this decision. There are many options when it comes to headstones and knowing exactly what your loved one preferred will be helpful.

Regulations for Headstones

Your headstone choices might be limited by the rules and regulations set forth by the cemetery where your loved one will be buried. Many cemeteries will already have this information available on their website, but if not, here are a few questions to ask:

What are the minimum and maximum sizes allowed?
What type of headstones are permitted?
Are there any limitations on color of the headstone?
Do we need paperwork for headstone placement?
Do you charge a fee for installing the headstone?

Headstone Types

There are three common types of headstone: upright, flat and kerbed. An upright headstone is the most common and traditional, in which a flat tablet is standing upright on a base. The flat headstones are installed directly into the ground. Kerbed headstones are very large: they line the full length of the grave.

Headstone Materials

Granite is the most common material for headstones because it is affordable, durable, and comes in a variety of colors including green, grey-blue and red. Other options for headstone material include limestones, white marble and bronze. White marble and limestones are more fragile than granite and sometimes not permitted in church graveyards. Bronze, while more expensive than stone materials, doesn’t require much upkeep and gets darker with the passage of time.

Headstone Finishes

In addition to choosing the material and shape for a headstone, you will need to choose the polish. There are a variety of different finishes for each type of material. The shiniest and smoothest is a polished headstone, followed by partially-polished and honed. Partially polished headstones are shiny and smooth in certain areas and less hiny in other areas. This technique emphasizes certain text and images on the stone. The hone technique makes the surface smooth but unreflective, a method often used in multi-colored headstones.

While these levels of polish are most common, there is a world of other options including pitched, sawed, steeled and axed.

Choosing the Message

Perhaps the most important decision when shopping for a headstone is what will be depicted on the stone. Symbols and images can be etched into the stone with laser technology or added in full color with ceramics.

At its most basic, a headstone can simple include a person’s name and their dates of birth and death. Many people also choose to include religious scripture verses or identifying titles like “mother” or “wife.”

When it comes to the message, not only will you need to choose the content, but also the font. The headstone’s material and the length and shape of the inscription you’ve chosen will limit the type of fonts you can choose, but this will still be an important design decision.

A Big Decision

Choosing a headstone is a big decision, so take the time to find a stone mason you trust and feel good about working with. They will be able to provide plenty of guidance in designing this very important item. As always, funeral directors can be an excellent resource for this project, as well.

The Path of Becoming A Funeral Director

info@engageyourbiz.com (Engage Team) — Mon, 27 Nov 2017 00:00:00 GMT

It is important that any funeral director you consider working with has a proper education and background in the industry. Most often, this comes in the form of a degree in mortuary science.

Mortuary science is the American curriculum that prepares students for a career in the funeral industry, most often as a funeral director. The study usually lasts 2 years and participants earn an associate’s degree. There are also four year bachelor’s programs in mortuary science. In selecting a program for mortuary science study, individuals should seek programs that have been accredited by the American Board of Funeral Service Education (ABFSE) . Currently, 59 institutions in the US are accredited according to ABFSE standards.

Regardless of the degree earned, all aspiring funeral directors must pass the National Board Exam (NBE) for funeral directors.The NBE is created and administered by the International Conference of Funeral Service Examining Boards. The pass/fail exam is used to ensure that licensed individuals truly possess the necessary knowledge to carry out the duties of a funeral director.

Students will encounter a wide range of topics when studying for a mortuary science degree. Some of the subjects are medical and biological, such as embalming and anatomy, while others are focused on the business of running a funeral home, like business law and accounting. Students will also gain important training ingrief psychology and managing grieving families.

Some states also require that a funeral director complete an additional one to three years of apprenticeship before earning a license. Candidates will become certified as apprentices by their state’s board of morticians and funeral directors. They will work beneath a licensed funeral director and learn the ropes of the industry while earning a salary. Often, this is a time where candidates are faced with the true challenges of the industry, including sometimes erratic work hours and an emotional toll. This apprenticeship period allows candidates to solidify their interest in this line of work and be sure they want a career in mortuary science.

After passing the NBE and potentially working as an apprentice, the final step for funeral director candidates is earning a state license to practice mortuary science. Licensing requirements vary from state-to-state, but nearly all require an associate’s degree in mortuary science at the minimum. It’s important to note that licensure is not required for a funeral director or the employees of a funeral home.

It is clear that a licensed funeral director has worked hard to learn the best way to care for the deceased and grieving families. The funeral industry is not a career that one enters into lightly. It requires extensive planning, preparation and study. All of the funeral directors at Hutchison Funeral Home have degrees in mortuary science. As a family operation, we are proud to provide this level of high-quality, in-depth education and preparation to our clients.

Do You Need A Grief Counselor?

info@engageyourbiz.com (Engage Team) — Mon, 13 Nov 2017 00:00:00 GMT

When it comes to funeral planning for a loved one, grief and stress can go hand in hand. While some people are able to manage these emotions alone, many people will need professional help in order to get through the period of loneliness and sadness after a loved one dies. There is no shame in advocating for your mental health and grief counselors can be instrumental in helping you move on from your loss. Everyone grieves differently, and your personal path might include some guidance from an external source who is not close to you.

What is grief counseling?

Grief counseling goes by many names: grief and loss counseling, bereavement counseling and grief therapy, to name a few. These terms simply refer to meetings—one-on-one or group—with a professional that will help guide you through the mourning process and ultimately move you out of it.

These professionals might come from many walks of life. A grief therapist could be a certified mental health professional like a psychiatrist or psychologist, but it could also be a religious leader, nurse, or social worker. The primary goal of grief counseling is that the patient achieves a non-judgemental environment in which he or she can process feelings.

If grief counseling sounds like something that could help you, here are some tips for finding an appropriate grief counselor.

Decide what you need in a counselor

Before you begin searching for a grief counselor, you should take some time to think about what you want from your counseling. Some questions you might consider are:

How long do you want to be in therapy?
Do you want individual or group counseling?
Do you want your therapist to have religious or professional training or both?
Are you seeking an opportunity to vent and have someone listen, or are you looking for actionable guidance in recovering from your grief?
Do you have an age or gender preference for your therapist?
How often do you want to go to therapy? Daily, weekly, bi-monthly?

Another factor to consider before you start searching for a grief counselor is cost. Most insurances will cover mental health care visits, often including but not limited to several visits with a grief counselor, but it’s important to confirm exactly what your insurance covers so you aren’t surprised by expenses. If you don’t have insurance or mental health care isn’t covered, contact a local hospice organization. They often have affordable or free grief management services or can direct you to them.

Do your research

Your friends and family—especially those that might be suffering the same loss that you are—can be wonderful resources for seeking out a grief counselor. If you’re comfortable telling people that you’re seeking a grief therapist, you might be surprised to find that other people are already in grief counseling! Your support network could put you in touch with the perfect counselor.

If you prefer to keep your search to yourself, there are a variety of resources online for finding a grief counselor. Just google the terms “grief counselor” and your city.

Don’t give up

Finding a counselor or counseling arrangement can be challenging—don’t expect to get it right on the first try. If you try a grief therapist and it doesn’t feel quite right, try another one. There are a lot of factors that contribute to a good fit with both your therapist and your therapy environment (i.e., group or individual), so don’t be discouraged if it doesn’t immediately feel productive. Additionally, therapy is hard work—you might not see results immediately and it might be challenging to hash out your feelings every week. Don’t give up! Grief doesn’t have to be permanent; you have the power to get your life back.

Answers To Your Funeral Etiquette Questions

info@engageyourbiz.com (Engage Team) — Mon, 30 Oct 2017 00:00:00 GMT

All funerals are different, but there are some standard routines and expectations. Even when you know what to expect at a traditional funeral , you might be left with some questions about etiquette and behavior. Here are the answers to those nagging questions.

What do I bring to a funeral or reception?

Anything you bring with you to a funeral service should be a personal item. You might need tissues if you expect to cry during the service. Plan for the weather if the service will be outside. You may need a hat, sunglasses, rain coat or umbrella. If you want to donate flowers, they should be sent in advance of the funeral, not brought with you.

For an after-service reception, the same advance planning is necessary: don’t bring food or beverage unless you have been instructed to do so. Sometimes, the reception will be potluck-style, in which case you should bring food or drink. Otherwise, contact the host to see if you could help by bringing an item. Often, grieving families are overwhelmed with food, so you don’t want to contribute unless it’s been made clear that your donation would be helpful.

What do I wear?

It’s no longer necessary to wear black to a funeral. The custom is dated and even the most traditional funerals rarely require it. Instead, focus on dressing conservatively. While choosing an outfit, ask yourself: will this call attention to me? This event is about the deceased and the family, not you.

Business casual is generally appropriate. Avoid jeans, short skirts or dresses and revealing clothing. Stick with muted colors like grey and beige.

What do I say to a grieving family?

For many, finding out the appropriate thing to say to a grieving family member can be very difficult. There are a variety of ways to express your sympathy. Here are some phrases you can use:

I am so sorry for your loss.
I deeply cared about [the deceased] and I will miss him/her.
I am here for you. Please let me know if I can help.
I know how much [the deceased] loved you all.

If the ceremony is religious and you are confident the family members are religious, as well, it is appropriate to use phrases like “He/she is in a better place now,” or “I know he’s smiling down upon you.” If the ceremony is not religious, avoid these references.

Grieving families are usually expected to speak with many people on the day of the funeral service. Don’t take up too much of their time. Express your sympathy and move on, unless it seems they are eager to chat with you.

When do I leave?

The end of a funeral service is almost always marked by a recessional. After this, the guests are expected to depart from the funeral home. If there is a reception, don’t linger at the event for more than an hour or two. Remember that these are long, exhausting, often unpleasant days for the grieving family. Have respect for their space.

That said, always greet the family upon arrival to a reception and say goodbye before you depart.

Use your best judgment

Funerals are not “easy” for anyone. They are naturally sad events, but they can also be a source of comfort and finality for those left behind. Use your best judgment in all behavior. There are no “hard and fast” rules. Be kind and warm, and if you make a mistake in etiquette, apologize. No one is perfect!

What To Expect At A Traditional Funeral?

info@engageyourbiz.com (Engage Team) — Mon, 16 Oct 2017 00:00:00 GMT

If you’ve never been to a traditional funeral, you might be concerned about appropriate behavior . Like any formal occasion, it can be nerve-wracking if you don’t know what to expect. It can be helpful to know the traditional elements of a funeral service.

The Processional

A traditional funeral begins with a processional, led by the officiant—often a religious leader. The officiant is followed by the coffin, carried by pallbearers in pairs of two. It usually requires six pallbearers to carry a standard coffin.

The coffin is followed by the family, who sit in the front rows. The service begins when everyone has entered and taken a seat. If there is no coffin, there won’t be a formal processional, but the family and officiant often enter and sit to signify the beginning of the service.

Funeral Service

Funerals often include readings from a variety of people who knew the deceased. These can include sermons, eulogies, scripture and literature readings, prayers and songs. Sometimes there will be a call-and-response or the guests will be invited to sing together.

Recessional

Even if a funeral doesn’t include a formal processional, there will almost always be a recessional led by the officiant. The pallbearers will remove the coffin and carry it to the hearse outside of the funeral home. The family will follow, and then guests are permitted to exit.

Graveside Service

There is usually a graveside service after the funeral. This is sometimes open to guests of the funeral and sometimes it is a family-only event. Try to clarify this ahead of time, but often it will be mentioned during the funeral service if guests are invited to the graveside service.

Graveside services are often shorter than funeral services. The officiant usually reads a short passage from scripture or a brief euology. The coffin is then lowered into the ground. Often, family members will shovel the first handful of dirt onto the coffin.

Reception

Regardless of whether the graveside service was public or limited to family, there may be a post-funeral reception. This can be held at the family’s home, a religious institution or a meeting space. This provides a more casual opportunity for guests to interact with one another and the family, sharing stories and supporting each other in grief.

Again, if there is a reception, it will be mentioned in the funeral service.

Use your resources

Much of the information about a funeral will be included in the announcement. Additional, specific information is often included in a program that is handed out when you arrive at the funeral. Knowing this basic sequence of events will allow you to be prepared when you attend a funeral.

You also might be close enough to the family to contact them and ask questions, but use your best judgement about this. Grieving families have a lot on their plate and fielding questions about logistics might not be the best use of their time. If you are unclear, perhaps try contacting a fellow guest or friend for clarification before reaching out directly to the family.

New Apps Can Help With Funeral Planning

info@engageyourbiz.com (Engage Team) — Mon, 02 Oct 2017 00:00:00 GMT

This blog has spent a lot of time discussing the important of planning when it comes to funerals and death. While these are somewhat taboo subjects, much pain and grief and confusion can be avoided with a little preplanning. From providing authority over your social media accounts to pre-arranging your own funeral, there are many ways to be prepared for the inevitable event of your death or to help a loved one prepare for theirs.

The digital age has seen the advent of many tools to help people plan for deaths and funerals. Now more than ever, our wishes can be made clear and the guesswork is taken out of planning a funeral. Here are a few interesting applications that can help you plan for the future.

SafeBeyond

This application is defined as a “digital time capsule.” The service allows you to create messages to be shared at a certain future event (like a wedding or graduation) or on a future date (like a birthday or anniversary). You can even leave messages to be sent when your loved ones arrive in a specific location, like the lake house that was very special to the family. SafeBeyond also allows you to send a final message on all of your social media accounts.

Everplans

Everplans is a more practical application, providing a central, online storage space for important assets like wills, trusts, accounts, passwords, bills, medical information, and insurance policies. Paperwork is the last thing a family wants to deal with while grieving someone’s passing, and with Everplans, it’s all in one place and ready to go when a person dies.
You can also include your final wishes and funeral preferences in Everplans. You can specify the general logistics—such as your preference for burial or cremation—as well as more specific personalizations of your memorial service, like music and flowers .

You designate “deputies” who can access this information after your passing, and Everplan ensures the utmost security of your information.

Afternote

Afternote also allows you to designate funeral wishes in a secure, digital platform that can be accessed by loved ones after your passing. You can also provide information about inheritance and where to pass on care for pets. It’s important to remember that these digitized requests are not legally binding, and it’s still important to draft a will and discuss your plans with loved ones.

Afternote also includes specific directions for navigating almost every social media account after death.

Talk to Your Funeral Director

Whether you decide to use one of these new apps or not, it’s important to discuss your plans with a funeral director . Funeral directors can guide you in clarifying your final wishes and might make suggestions you hadn’t considered.

Express Your Sympathy With These 4 Creative And Affordable Alternatives To Funeral Flowers

info@engageyourbiz.com (Engage Team) — Mon, 18 Sep 2017 00:00:00 GMT

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Flowers are a very popular sympathy gift, and for a good reason: flowers are beautiful, elegant, and they imbue a sense of calm with their pleasant fragrance. While flowers are often a perfectly acceptable way to express your compassion during someone’s time of grief, they can be overwhelming for the family. Sometimes grieving families are overloaded with more flowers, far more than they can display at the funeral or memorial service . Also, flower arrangements can get expensive. Here are some creative and affordable options to send to grieving families in lieu of the traditional flower arrangement.

1. Potted Plants

While an arrangement of cut flowers in a vase will eventually die, a potted plant or tree is a living thing that can represent hope and growth in a time of struggle. Consider the family’s circumstances when purchasing a tree or plant as a sympathy gift: do they live in an apartment with a sunny spot for a small plant? Perhaps you could give them an easy house plant like a ficus or fern. Do they have a yard where a large tree could be transplanted? A larger gift of a potted, young oak or maple might be perfect. Succulents also make beautiful, easy-to-care for gifts and they come in all shapes and sizes.

You can even personalize this gift by placing a small stone with the deceased’s name or initials beneath the plant.

2. Photos

It’s very possible, depending on how close you were with the deceased, that you have a selection of photos of the person that the family has never seen. These new images can be extremely heartwarming in a time of grief and it’s easier than ever to create photo books and albums directly from your phone, where most of us carry our photos.

The app Mosaic allows you to print a 7 inch by 7 inch softcover photo book with 20 photos. Prices start at $25. Social Print Studio has a similar deal with a larger book and a few more photos. For about $17, Artifact Uprising will print a 5.5 inch booklet with up to 40 photos chosen from you phone album or Instagram account.

3. A Gift of Relaxation

Losing a family member is a stressful time. Between funeral planning and general grief, it can be hard to find a moment to breath and process sadness. One of the most productive ways to express your sympathy to a grieving family or family member is with a gift of self-care. This could come in a lot of forms: a gift certificate to a salon for a massage, some nice bath items, dinner at a nice restaurant. Another popular option is to hire a house cleaning or lawn care service, as these are things that often fall to the wayside while planning a funeral.

4. Charity Donation

One of the most popular “in lieu of flowers” options is a donation to a charity that was meaningful to the deceased. Perhaps an organization that the person volunteered for or a cause they cared about deeply. If the person was lost to cancer or another disease, you could send a donation to an organization that supports research in the field.

Above All, Be Helpful

Always check for an “In lieu of flowers” option. Sometimes these will be specified on the memorial announcement, in the obituary, or on the funeral home’s website. Check with the funeral director if you don’t want to ask the family directly.

Not all of these alternatives will be a good fit for every grieving family. Some people might not enjoy a visit to the salon or want to deal with taking care of a potted plant. Whatever you choose to do, be sure it’s going to be a helpful gift instead of a hindrance. If you aren’t sure, check with the family or those close to them and find out what they really need.

How To Live Stream A Funeral?

info@engageyourbiz.com (Engage Team) — Mon, 04 Sep 2017 00:00:00 GMT

It has become more and more common for people to live outside of their hometown and even abroad, making it more difficult to return home for the funerals of older family members. Funerals are an important part of the grieving process and people want to experience them, even if they can’t be present in person.

A survey conducted in Britain last year showed the more than 60 percent of funeral directors had received requests to livestream a funeral. Funeral homes started offering this option as early as 2000, but its popularity has increased sharply in recent years.

Many news outlets, from The Atlantic to The New York Times , have explored this new funeral home trend and its potential fallbacks. Some critics argue that livestreaming a funeral might make mourners less inclined to attend, which can be difficult for the grieving hosts of the funeral who need to see loved ones in person. Others argue that struggling with technical difficulties of a livestreamed funeral is unhealthy for a grieving person.

To live stream a funeral, a camera is set up in the back of the chapel or funeral home. As the camera captures the service, it uploads it in real time to the web, where far-flung loved ones can log on to a portal with a username and password to view the funeral. Some funeral homes offer to set up a livestream for a nominal fee and some services, like One Room Streaming , will come to the funeral home and set it up for you. You can also take a “do it yourself” approach with just some basic technology and a Facebook account. Here are some tips for livestreaming a funeral.

Use a Microphone

Much of what is meaningful at a funeral is what is heard—sermons, eulogies, songs. These are vitally important to the funeral service and therefore, it is important that you have the right audio for livestreaming.

The easiest way to do this is with microphones so that the sound is amplified for your camera’s natural audio. Most funeral homes will be able to provide both handheld and lapel mics. Just make sure everyone who comes up to speak is outfitted with one.

Keep the Camera Still

While you can livestream from your phone, it’s best not to be holding the device from which you are streaming. Even the slightest twitch or movement can be frustrating for the audience.

Invest in a simple tripod and attach your phone to it. Better yet, livestream using a webcam that is attached to a computer and set the computer on a level, sturdy surface.

How to Livestream a Funeral on Facebook

There are many different livestreaming services available. One of the easiest ones to use is Facebook and most of us already have an account.

One the status update box of your Facebook profile, you will find a “Live Video” icon that looks like a small video camera. When you click on this icon, Facebook will automatically connect to your computer webcam or phone camera and the livestream screen will appear.

To the right of the livestream screen, there is a section labeled “Live Video Settings.” Here, you can select where you want to share your livestream: on your timeline, in a group, in an event, or on a page you manage. If you want people who aren’t connected with you as friends on Facebook to see the video, you’ll need to change the privacy settings in the bottom right corner to “Public.” You can also put a description of the livestream video.

When you’ve set up the camera and microphone properly, you click the blue “Go Live” button in the bottom right corner. After three seconds, your livestream will begin. After you click the “Finish Livestream” button, the video you streamed will be available as a recording on your Timeline.

A Personal Decision

Livestreaming is convenient for long-distance loved ones, but it’s not a requirement. Despite it’s popularity, some families may still choose to keep the funeral experience limited to people in attendance.

Whatever you decide, don’t let the livestreaming process compound your grief. Ask for help from technologically savvy loved ones and your funeral director . The Hutchison Funeral Home is always happy to help set up livestreaming for your funeral.

How To Make The Perfect Tribute Video For A Funeral?

info@engageyourbiz.com (Engage Team) — Mon, 21 Aug 2017 00:00:00 GMT

Memorial videos can be a powerful way to pay tribute to a lost loved one. A tribute video can include a number of different types of media, including actual video footage and photographs.

There are a number of ways to make these videos, but it can be overwhelming if you have never worked with digital photographs or video files. Here are some tips for making a beautiful video that will move funeral attendees and pay homage to your lost loved one.

Use the Right Tools

There are a variety of tools available to help you make a tribute video. A service like Tribute.co allows you to invite people to submit their own videos, which you then edit into a montage. This service, while high-quality and simplified, can get expensive, with packages starting at $20.

Other services that can help you make a tribute video or slideshow include iMovie, ezvid, and PowerPoint. ThoughtCo has an excellent article on how to make a memorial slideshow using PowerPoint, a very simple software that you can download onto almost any computer.

Diversify Content

Photos and video footage aren’t the limits of what you can include in a tribute video. In fact, diversifying content will be make the tribute more entertaining for the funeral attendees and allow you to personalize the memorial in unique ways.
Audio can be a wonderful way to diversify and personalize your memorial video. You could set the slideshow to your loved one’s favorite song or even a recording of them playing music, if they were so inclined. Another interesting choice for audio would be to pre-record a narration of the deceased’s life from a family member, who could describe photos and memorabilia as they appeared on the screen.

Memorabilia can make an excellent addition to a slideshow or video. Take high quality photos or scans of diplomas, awards, poems, journal entries—anything that was important and reflective of your loved one’s life. These items can bring back sweet memories for many in attendance at the funeral.

Short & Sweet

Don’t make the mistake of a long, exhausting tribute video. People can only appreciate a certain amount of media. Choose about 30 photos for your slideshow, if you’ll only be using pictures. Regardless of what you use, your tribute video shouldn’t last longer than 10 minutes.

Always Do a Test Run

After you’ve completed your video, sit back and view it without editing at all. This will allow you to note any errors that you might’ve missed while assembling the video.

Even better, try to do a test run at the funeral home. Discuss the set up of electronics with your funeral director. Do you need to bring your computer or put the video on a USB drive or CD? Figure out exactly what you need to bring to the funeral home and test out all the equipment a few days before the funeral. This will bring you peace of mind and ensure that everything runs smoothly on the day-of.

Be Sure to Share

Your tribute video is sure to be appreciated by everyone in attendance at the funeral, as well as those who could not attend the service. Share your video on social media and make the video available through email or download to people who would like to have their own copies.

4 Tips For Announcing Deaths And Funerals On Social Media

info@engageyourbiz.com (Engage Team) — Mon, 07 Aug 2017 00:00:00 GMT

When a person dies, loved ones have the challenging and important task of disseminating this information. Especially if you are one of the first to learn of a loved one’s death, it is your responsibility to break that news to the rest of the deceased’s family and friends. There is no denying that this is a painful and often complicated process.

There is often a generational divide when it comes to the announcement of deaths on social media. As outlined in this New York Times help column , young people perceive Facebook and Twitter as perfectly acceptable outlets for announcing a death, while an older person might find the use of this platform inappropriately cold or disconnected.
Despite the shock and dismay of learning about someone’s death, it remains important to behave with tact and find a careful and considerate way of breaking difficult news to those who need to know. Here are some tips for navigating the announcement of a death on social media.

1. Consider Timing: Who Already Knows?

Timing is a very important factor. One thing is indisputable: immediate and very close family members should not learn about a loved one’s death through social media.

A social media announcement about death should only happen after the inner circle has been informed. This might be challenging for a young person, particularly, because many younger people rely on their social media circles for comfort and support.

When you share the news of a death, explain to children and teens that it’s not yet time to mention the news on social media. Be explicit about if and when it will be okay for them to post about it.

2. To Tag or Not to Tag

Another important consideration when deciding when and how to announce a death on social media is the condition of the deceased’s social media profiles . Have they been managed appropriately?

Each social media platform has different guidelines for handling the death of a user. For example, Facebook provides the option of turning someone’s profile into a “Legacy Contact.” If this has already been done, it might be effective to post information about the person’s death on their profile, or even tag their profile in your announcement, so that the news is disseminated to the right people—i.e., those that were connected to the deceased.

3. Include Funeral Details

It might be easiest to wait until you know details about a funeral before announcing a death on social media. This way, you can make one post with news of the death and the funeral information, like date, time and location of the funeral, as well as where people can donate to memorial funds or send flowers.

If you don’t provide funeral or memorial service details—or at least mention that you will post the details when you have them—people will start contacting you and commenting on the post with questions, which will require more managerial efforts from you during a difficult time.

4. What Would They Have Wanted?

Before posting about a death on social media, check out the condition of your loved one’s profiles and see if there is anything that needs to be managed before your announcement.

One of the easiest ways to decide if it is appropriate to announce a death on social media is to think about the desires of the deceased. Would they have wanted this news expressed via social media profiles?

If the person was particularly private or had a disdain for the public nature of social media, perhaps they wouldn’t have wanted their death announced on these channels. On the other hand, if they loved using social media and had large webs of connections on the internet, they might prefer that method of announcement.

Be Respectful

Above all, try to respect the wishes of your friends and family during this difficult time of loss. If someone is inherently uncomfortable with announcing a loved one’s death on social media, it’s probably a bad idea. The most important principle during grief is to come together and support each other.

Know Your Rights When Shopping For A Funeral Home

info@engageyourbiz.com (Engage Team) — Mon, 24 Jul 2017 00:00:00 GMT

As a consumer, you have rights and the treatment of your loved one’s remains is protected in many ways. Here are some of the protections provided for the deceased.

The Funeral Rule

There is no “consistent and coherent body of law” that deals with the management of deceased persons, according to this Slate article. Much of the regulations for funeral homes are enacted at the state level, but there are some federal laws governing funeral homes from a consumer protection angle.

The Funeral Rule was enacted in 1984 by the Federal Trade Commission. This rule ensures that consumers must be provided with fair and accurate information when it comes to shopping for funeral services.

General Price List

The primary focus of the Funeral Rule is the General Price List or GPL. This document must specifically itemize all the costs of a funeral for the consumer. Upon request, a funeral home is legally required to provide you with this information.

Consumer Choices

The Funeral Rule also makes it clear that consumers have choices and do not have to buy packaged or complete services (though funeral homes are allowed to offer these as a purchasing option). Shoppers have the option to pick and choose specifically what they want for their loved one’s funeral and they cannot be financially penalized for those decisions. For example, if a consumer wanted to purchase a casket from a third party instead of the funeral home, the funeral home can’t charge an extra fee for handling that casket.

National Funeral Directors’ Association

The NFDA also has a Code of Conduct that regulates how funeral homes and funeral directors navigate this industry in regards to consumers and human remains.

In reference to service to families, the code reads: “Members have an ethical obligation to serve each family in a professional and caring manner, being respectful of their wishes and confidences, being honest and fair in all dealings with them, and being considerate of those of lesser means.”

In reference to the deceased, the code reads: “Members have an ethical obligation to care for each deceased person with the highest respect and dignity, and to transport, prepare and shelter the remains in a professional, caring and conscientious manner.”

The code goes on to make specific regulations about careful transportation of the deceased, limiting contact with the deceased to licensed individuals, and providing proper care and covering to the deceased at all times.

The Importance Of A Trustworthy Funeral Home

Incidents like the recent investigation in Michigan highlight the importance of finding a funeral home that you can trust. Shopping for a funeral home is a deeply personal and serious process, whether you are planning your own funeral or that of a loved one.

The Hutchison Funeral Home recognizes that handing over the body of a deceased loved one is a challenging and even frightening time. We take our responsibilities very seriously and can ensure the utmost respect and care in handling your loved ones remains.

A Look At History's Most Expensive And Well-Attended Funerals Across The World

info@engageyourbiz.com (Engage Team) — Mon, 10 Jul 2017 00:00:00 GMT

Funerals are an important cultural ceremony and have been for a long time. When a famous person dies, their funeral can be quite a big occasion. With more mourners—and more money—a funeral can become a large, spectacular event.
Here are some of the most extravagant, expensive, and well-attended funerals in the world’s history.

1. ALEXANDER THE GREAT

In 323 B.C., King Alexander the Great of Macedonia died in modern-day Baghdad. In a funeral rumored to have cost as much as $600 million in modern currency, Alexander was transported from Babylon to Macedonia in a gold coffin resting upon a gold carriage pulled by 60 horses.

2. KIM JONG-IL

In 2011, North Korean leader Kim Jong-il died and a 232-person funeral committee, under the leadership of Kim Jong Il’s son, Kim Jong-un, convened to plan a memorial service fit for a king. Jong-il’s $40 million funeral took place on a freezing day in December, when mourners followed the leader’s hearse along a 25-mile procession that took three hours.

3. POPE JOHN PAUL II

Some estimates report that more than four million people attended Pope John Paul II’s funeral in Rome in 1996. The mourners included multiple kings, queens, prime ministers and presidents. The funeral was also broadcast live on television, where it had about 2 billion viewers.=

4. PRINCESS DIANA

Shortly after the Pope’s funeral, Great Britain’s Princess Diana was remembered in a $12-million ceremony watched by about 2.5 billion people. The ceremony in Westminster Abbey had an attendance of just 2,000 people, many of whom were celebrities and politicians.

5. MICHAEL JACKSON

More recently in 2009, pop artist Michael Jackson was recognized in a public memorial service for which tickets were given away lottery-style. Of more than a million people that entered the lottery in its first 24 hours, only 17,500 lucky winners were able to attend the service. Jackson’s $25 million bronze casket was plated with gold and lined with blue velvet and a myriad of celebrities were in attendance, including Mariah Carey and Queen Latifah.

6. ELVIS PRESLEY

Tens of thousands of fans traveled to Memphis, TN, for the funeral of one of the most recognizable and well-loved musicians in history: Elvis Presley. Of the nearly 80,000 people who descended upon Elvis’s Graceland home to see his body, only about 2,000 were able to view him and only 200 close friends and family attended the funeral service.

7. CN ANNADURAI

In 1969, the funeral of CN Annadurai took the Guinness World Record for highest funeral attendance, a record it still holds. Annadurai was a chief minister in the Tamil Nadu region of India. Around 15 million people gathered in the region’s capital of Chennai to follow the funeral procession.

8. GAMAL ABDEL NASSER

In late 1970, five million Egyptians gathered to mourn the death of their president, Gamal Abdel Nasser. Nasser’s funeral procession traveled over 6 miles through the country’s capital of Cairo. The funeral included a jet flyover and a 6-horse gun carriage, and heads of state from all over the Arab world were in attendance.

9. BABE RUTH

Baseball legend Babe Ruth died in 1948 at the young age of 53. A public wake was held for him at Yankee Stadium. Over 100,000 fans lined up in the streets of New York to walk past his coffin and pay their respects.

Not Sure How To Pay For A Funeral? Try Crowfunding

info@engageyourbiz.com (Engage Team) — Mon, 26 Jun 2017 00:00:00 GMT

While it’s important to plan for the eventuality of a funeral whenever possible, it’s not always realistic. Sometimes death comes upon us suddenly. When this happens, loved ones can end up facing the major, unplanned expense of a funeral.

Paying for a funeral can be difficult, but there are a number of different ways to go about it. It is likely that there are people around you who want to be supportive and find a constructive way to help during this difficult time. If you’re not sure how you can pay for a loved one’s funeral service, crowdfunding might offer a solution for you.

WHAT IS CROWDFUNDING?

Crowdfunding is the process of collecting a large sum of money from a series of small, individual donations. These donations often come from friends and family, but sometimes from anonymous good samaritans. Like so many things these days, crowdfunding is an online process completed through websites like Fundable.com, GoFundMe.com, YouCaring.com, and others.

Crowdfunding has had a popularity boom in recent years. In 2015, about $3 billion was raised from crowdfunding efforts.

HOW TO CROWDFUND EFFECTIVELY

If you think crowdfunding might be appropriate for your situation, here are a few tips to keep in mind for a successful crowdfunding campaign:

Be Personal

Crowdfunding for a memorial or funeral service is a naturally personal endeavor. When asking people to donate, it’s important to be honest about your financial situation (i.e., why you need the donations).

Crowdfunding efforts will be more successful if you include photos of the individual who will be remembered in the service, details about what the money will be used for (flowers, casket, etc.), and personal anecdotes about the deceased.

Use Social Media

Social media makes a very complementary tool for a crowdfunding campaign. Create accounts on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram for your campaign and connect with friends and family on these social channels. Always be sure to include a link back to your crowdfunding page where people can donate. YouCaring has a wonderful article explaining just how to create social pages for your crowdfunding campaign.

It’s also important to remind donors and social media connections to share on their social media profiles. The more people your crowdfunding campaign can reach, the more effective it will be.

Keep Clear Records

Clear records are vital in the crowdfunding process. Not only is it important to document what you do with that you’ve received, but it’s also important to document for tax purposes.

If your campaign gets 200 donations or reaches a total of $20,000, you will need to report the income to the IRS. Funds used for the funeral are not taxable because those funds are technically a gift, but it’s still important that the IRS sees a record of them when you report your income. Your tax agent can include a note explaining why the sum isn’t included in your taxable income.

Be Active

An engaged campaign leader can mean the difference between a hugely successful campaign and a total failure.
Campaign leaders should organize events to spread the word and encourage donors. In the case of a funeral, this could mean working with the deceased’s favorite restaurant to host a dinner for friends and family and donate a portion of the proceeds to the cause.

Engaged campaigners will also reach out to the media for coverage and constantly update their social profiles as well as the crowdfunding website.

LET PEOPLE HELP

Crowdfunding is a practical use of your support network. It not only reduces stress for the funeral planners, but it also provides a way for people to honor and remember the deceased. If you’re struggling to pay for a loved one’s funeral, choose a platform and start crowdfunding today.

How To Safely Transport Your Loved One's Ashes?

info@engageyourbiz.com (Engage Team) — Mon, 12 Jun 2017 00:00:00 GMT

It is possible that the day will come that you will need to transport cremated remains. It is not uncommon for a person’s memorial service or funeral to be held in their hometown or another place of significance for them, but the funeral location might not be where their ashes are meant to rest.

Perhaps your loved one wanted their ashes scattered in a specific location or you just simply want to bring them back home with you after the funeral service. Whatever the reason, here are a few things you need to know about transporting cremated remains.

Transporting Domestically

If you are transporting remains domestically within the United States, you have many options.

Mail

The US Postal Service can transport remains by mail. USPS published a document that provides extensive information on how to package and ship cremated remains.

If you choose to ship the remains by mail, be aware that USPS is the only mail service you can use. Couriers like FedEx and UPS do not ship cremated remains.

Car

Transporting cremated remains by vehicle remains is a very simple and reasonable choice for most families when the funeral is located within driving distance from their home (or the final resting place for the ashes).

There are no legal regulations on transporting ashes by car, only practical recommendations: ensure that the ashes are secure either within a sealed bag or a tightly sealed urn to avoid spillage.

Air

While it is not the most simple method, it is possible to transport ashes on a domestic flight.

Airlines have different regulations recording the transportation of remains, and some will require advance notice or documentation. It’s important to do research about your specific airline carrier before trying to transport ashes on a flight.

Most airlines permit you to carry an urn with you in your carry-on or checked luggage, but the ashes must be visible in the x-ray viewer. This can present a problem because most urns are made from material that is impervious to x-ray. There are plenty of removable inner containers that can be pulled out for the purpose of x-ray to sidestep this issue.

TSA officers will never open an urn, so it’s important to come prepared and allow yourself plenty of time to get through airport security.

Transporting Remains Internationally

If your loved one wanted to have their ashes scattered in a different country, there are far more regulations to consider.
The first step in transporting cremated remains internationally is to contact the relevant embassies in the destination country. They will be able to provide you with specific information you will need to successfully transport the remains, including forms and documentation. Sometimes transporting remains internationally will require the involvement of a funeral director and possibly an attorney from your home country.

Transporting remains abroad—by land, air, or mail—can be complicated and takes a lot of time. Plan ahead.

Seek Help When You Need It

While in the throes of grief, it can be easy to become frustrated when dealing with a situation like transporting remains. It’s important to use the resources available to you to ensure this process is as simple and stress-free as possible.

Funeral home directors can be of great use in organizing the transportation of remains. Contact the Hutchison Funeral Home today with your questions about transporting remains.

5 Tips For Coping With A Death Anniversary

info@engageyourbiz.com (Engage Team) — Mon, 29 May 2017 00:00:00 GMT

If you can manage to ignore the day of a loved one’s death, you are wholly entitled and encouraged to do that.

Ignoring this day doesn’t make you a bad person. It doesn’t mean you’re lacking in feeling or grief or consideration. We all have different ways of coping. For some of us, the actual day of the person’s death is not a time that we will choose to honor and remember them.

Perhaps you choose instead to celebrate the person on their birthday, or another holiday like Mother’s or Father’s Day, or a special date just the two of you shared. Or, maybe it’s not about a specific date for you—maybe the person’s memory simply permeates your day-to-day life. If you don’t struggle to cope with a death anniversaries (sometimes referred to as “deathversaries”), that’s okay.

But for some of us, a death anniversary can be the most difficult time of the year. These annually returning dates can cause fresh grief and bring back painful memories. If this is the case for you, it’s important to take a proactive approach to these dates. Here are some ideas for commemorative activities that can ease the pain on these occasions.

1. A Tradition, New Or Old

When we lose a person, sometimes we start to notice traditions that they held up in their lifetime. Perhaps your husband was the master pancake chef for Saturday morning breakfasts or your grandmother was the one who always put the star on top of the Christmas tree. These traditions can sometimes become what we miss most acutely when a person is gone.

Traditions are a wonderful way to commemorate a death anniversary. They can provide an uplifting, positive experience to anticipate and enjoy on an otherwise challenging day. You could revive an old tradition—perhaps you make those pancakes for breakfast—or create an entirely new one, such as visiting your loved one’s favorite coffee shop or museum.
Whatever the activity, an annual tradition will not only provide some pleasant relief on a sad day, but it will also allow you to track the progress of your grief as the years pass.

2. Share The Experience

It can be therapeutic to share your loss and grief with others. If others are willing, schedule an event of some kind, such as a family dinner or visit to the grave site. Interacting with other people who are experiencing similar feelings of sadness can allow you to hold each other up during a difficult time.

It’s important to approach this with tact. People deal with grief differently. If someone is trying to make it through this painful time of year with as few reminders as possible, it might be insensitive to their needs to schedule a group event for the death anniversary. Be careful and considerate when approaching people about an event like this.

3. Distraction

It might be helpful to spend time with people who won’t acknowledge the anniversary. Finding a distraction can be a very effective way to get through the day.

Go see a movie or take a weekend away to a brand new place with some friends. If what you want is to not think about the passing of your loved one, plan stimulating activities that are sure to fulfill and entertain you.

4. A Continuous Memory

For some people, a tactile, visible commemoration of the loved one can be most helpful.

There are many manifestations of this. One can create a memory stone every year on the death anniversary, all of which will line up to create a path through the garden. Perhaps you have a journal for the sole purpose of recording your thoughts on this date, so you can go back through and see exactly how you felt at this time last year. Having a tangible timeline of your grief can be productive and healthy.

5. Allow For Change

The emotions around a death anniversary are unpredictable and powerful. Whatever you choose to do on this day, it is important that it leaves you feeling more healed and peaceful than you did before.

Don’t hold yourself to unnecessary standards. If it no longer feels good to host a special dinner on the death anniversary, cancel it. Only you know how to cope with your grief. Allow your plans for this anniversary to change and evolve as you see fit. Allow yourself to heal.

How To Deal With Social Media And Email Accounts After Death

info@engageyourbiz.com (Engage Team) — Mon, 05 Dec 2016 00:00:00 GMT

The process for dealing with post-mortem web accounts is a new challenge for those experiencing the loss of a loved one. The average Internet user has over 25 online accounts according to a Microsoft study . Almost everyone uses the Internet in some way, and of those who use the Internet, 72% have social media accounts. These accounts — along with other digital accounts such as online banking and email accounts — need to be managed after a person’s death.

State Laws

Virginia, Connecticut, Rhode Island, Oklahoma, Indiana, Nevada, and Idaho are the only six states that have laws in place to designate control over digital accounts after a person has died. Generally, the state laws simply require companies like Facebook and Google to hand over access to these accounts when a representative of the deceased provides a written request. Some of the state laws only apply to email accounts, leaving confusion about social media and other password-locked accounts.

Company Policies

To compound the complicated nature of this issue, many of the sites themselves — Facebook and Twitter, for example — retain some rights to the content posted by the person’s account. Thus, these companies are making their own rules about how to manage post-mortem accounts.

Twitter

Upon the death of a Twitter user, the company provides a form for requesting account deactivation. This form must be filled out by the deceased’s estate executor or a verified immediate family member. Twitter also requires a copy of the death certificate and a copy of the ID of the person requesting deactivation. The company will not provide access to the account for anyone — they only offer the option of deactivation upon death.

Facebook

Facebook has the same policy as Twitter regarding access to accounts of the deceased. They will not allow someone to actively use the deceased’s account, but (unlike Twitter) they provide an alternative to simply deleting the account: a memorialized account . These accounts provide a digital memorial by maintaining the shared material of the deceased user and sometimes allowing friends to comment and share on the memorialized page. The memorialized account is locked out for any user other than the legacy contact , who can post additional information (such as funeral plans or final messages) but cannot change other parts of the profile.
Facebook makes it possible for users to pre-arrange memorialization or deletion of their profile upon death in the website’s settings. If your loved one hasn’t arranged this, the company’s policy is to memorialize the profile. If you’d prefer the account be deleted, Facebook has a specific form for this request. To expedite the process, they recommend providing a scanned copy of the death certificate.

Google

Google provides an opportunity for loved ones or estate executors to close Gmail accounts, but they are very concerned with privacy. They will not provide login details and requests for information from a deceased person’s account are decided on a case-by-case basis.
Google has a tool for users to designate the plan for their account after death. The Inactive Account Manager will alert a person or share certain data when your Google accounts (such as Gmail and Blogger) have been inactive for a certain amount of time. You can also instruct the Inactive Account Manager to shut down your account after a specified period of inactivity.

The Importance of Planning

Digital accounts are a modern-day issue that needs to be addressed in estate planning. If your loved one has provided pre-arrangement for the funeral, this information should be a part of that planning process. Encourage any internet users to assign a point person for their digital accounts. They should provide this person with written permission to manage their accounts after death, a list of all websites, usernames, and passwords, as well as detailed instructions on how to manage the accounts post-mortem.

How To Protect A Deceased Loved One From Identity Theft

info@engageyourbiz.com (Engage Team) — Mon, 28 Nov 2016 00:00:00 GMT

Identity theft is a real risk in modern society. We are constantly dropping bits of information here and there: PIN numbers, account numbers, birth dates, social security numbers. It puts our identities at risk for fraudulent use and the identities of the deceased are just as vulnerable.
A 2012 ID Analytics study reported that nearly 800,000 deceased Americans’ identities are falsely used to apply for credit cards and cell phone services. In about 1.6 million applications every year, a thief used a deceased person’s SSN by accident. This amounts to a rate of 2,000 cases of identity misuse for deceased people every day.

How Identity Theft Happens
Identity thieves have a number of channels for getting information about a deceased person’s identity. Obituaries, death certificates, and the online Social Security Death Index all present opportunities for these thieves to get the information they need to take fraudulent action.
In rare cases, the thief is a family member or friend who is taking advantage of the situation. This is more common if the deceased person experienced a long period of sickness or declining mental condition. Unresolved disagreements about a loved one’s assets and finances can also lead to identity theft by a disgruntled party.

Identity theft can be a major hassle for the family that is left behind — and a hassle is the last thing anyone needs when dealing with the loss of a loved one. If a thief manages to open a credit card with your deceased loved one’s identity, banks could come after the family if and when the bills aren’t paid. While the family isn’t obligated to pay these debts, it certainly creates a serious headache.

What You Can Do to Prevent Identity Theft
This problem can often go “under the radar” for family members amidst grief of losing a loved one. It is important that you take the necessary steps to prevent this from happening to your family. Here is what you can do to keep your deceased loved one’s identity safe.

1. Notify the Social Security Administration Immediately
Usually, the funeral home that handles your loved one’s funeral plans will notify the Social Security Administration (SSA) of their death. If you want them to do this, it’s important to provide the funeral director with your loved one’s Social Security Number. If you decide to handle this on your own, you can visit this website to find your local Social Security office, or you can call 1-800-772-1213.

2. Order several copies of the death certificate as soon as you can
It’s important to obtain several copies of the original death certificate when it becomes available because photocopies won’t suffice in most situations. Many businesses will require proof other than the death certificate since death records are public, so be prepared. Order several copies that include the cause of death, as well as some that don’t.

3. Be careful when writing the obituary
Obituaries often unknowingly provide thieves with information that can be used to steal someone’s identity. The birthday and home address of your loved one can be used to open new bank accounts, and public announcement of the memorial service will alert robbers as to when the deceased’s house will be empty. Be very careful about what information you include in a public obituary.

4. Request Credit Reports from Major Agencies
Three major Credit Report Agencies (CRAs) — TransUnion, Equifax, and Experian — will need to be notified of your loved one’s death. Request a final credit report from all three agencies and instruct them to place a “Deceased Alert” in the person’s credit file. You may want to also leave your contact information and request an alert if someone attempt to open credit in your loved one’s name.
The Identity Theft Resource Center (ITRC) offers a letter form that you can download and send to CRAs to request your deceased loved one’s credit report.
Credit reports will show all of your loved one’s open accounts and pending collection notices, so you can address those in the next step.

5. Notify Financial Institutions by Phone and Written Correspondence
Financial institutions will need to be contacted and made aware of their client’s death. This includes credit issuers, banks, collection agencies, mortgage companies, loan companies, and investment firms.
Only the spouse or executor of estate has the authority to close these accounts in the case of death. Send each institution an original copy of the death certificate, proof of your authority, and a letter instructing them to list the account as “Closed. Account holder is deceased.” If a joint account holder is still living, you will need to instruct these institutions to remove the deceased’s name from all accounts.
Here is a list of information to include in your correspondence with financial institutions:

Your loved one’s name and SSN
Your loved one’s last known address and addresses for the past 5 years
Birthdate and death date

Retain a complete copy of your written correspondence. Send all mail certified and request a return receipt.

6. Notify police of any suspicious activity
If you suspect your loved one’s identity has been stolen, it’s important to contact the police immediately. Report the evidence into the deceased’s police jurisdiction and file a police report. Notify all three CRAs. The ITRC also has a letter form you can send to collection agencies, creditors, or utility companies in the case of identity theft. They also provide advice for cases when you personally know the thief.

If you take all of the above steps, your loved one’s identity should remain safe. If the unthinkable happens and your loved one’s identity is stolen, remain calm and consult the ITRC website for further information.

5 Ways Family Caregivers Can Take Care Of Themselves

info@engageyourbiz.com (Engage Team) — Mon, 21 Nov 2016 00:00:00 GMT

November is National Family Caregivers Month, a time for awareness and appreciation of family caregivers everywhere. This occasion is led by the Caregiver Action Network and is intended to raise awareness about issues for family caregivers, celebrate their efforts, and increase support for them. This annual recognition of Caregivers has been a tradition since 1994 and this year’s theme is “Take Care to Give Care.”
This year’s theme recognizing that caregiving is an emotionally and physically draining experience and the stress it causes leads to a higher risk of health issues in our country’s caregivers. To mitigate this, it’s important that caregivers take care of themselves in order to continue caring for their loved ones. In honor of this important month, here are 5 ways caregivers can take care of themselves this month.

1. Maintain a Healthy Diet
Diet is one of the core factors of good health and good health is a tenet of self-care. Proper nutrition will help you stay energized, focused, and cheerful — which is not just good for you, but also the person you care for!
Eating healthy isn’t always easy, but with a little preparation it can definitely be enjoyable. Check out these 25 healthy snacks from Real Simple. Also, don’t forget to drink water throughout the day. Staying hydrated is an important part of a nutritious, balanced diet.

2. Remember: Relaxation is Not Optional
Particularly in today’s busy society, many of us feel like relaxation is a luxury that we have to earn. The reality is that relaxation is something we must do in order to stay healthy. Find a way to incorporate 30 minutes of relaxation into your routine every day. Relaxation means different things for everyone: you can participate in a hobby like reading, knitting, or painting, or catch up on your favorite TV show, or take a walk around the neighborhood. Whatever brings you peace, take some time to do it everyday. No matter what you’ve done today, you have earned some relaxation!

3. Treat Yourself
Every now and again, it’s good to step up your relaxation to a bit of luxury. This can be something small, such as a special treat from your favorite bakery or an appointment at the hair salon. These small joys are a simple and easy way to remind yourself that you are worthy and important.

4. Take a Vacation
Some of us don’t vacation because we can’t afford it, but most of us don’t vacation because we think we can’t leave our work. Family caregivers are especially subject to this mentality because their “work” is someone they love. Multiple studies have found that vacations have positive health effects, including improvements in heart and mental health. Save up a little cash and take some time away — even if it’s just to your neighboring town. Respite care is available in a variety of formats and prices, and the National Respite Coalition is working on legislation that would help caregivers find financing for their respite care.

5. Ask for Help
One of the greatest challenges for many caregivers is learning when and how to ask for help. The member survey by the National Family Caregiver’s Association (NFCA) showed that 65% of family caregivers don’t receive consistent help from other family members. The first step to getting help with your challenging situation is to realize that asking for help does not mean you are weak or a failure. The nature of family caregiving is too much for a single person. Make a list of all the tasks you have to do — everything: your care, your loved one’s care, daily life — and decide which tasks you can delegate. When someone offers help, consult your list and accept.

The Hutchison Funeral Home recognizes the important role of family caregivers in society. We appreciate you and acknowledge your sacrifice. Remember that you deserve relaxation and it makes you a better caregiver for your loved one. Try to incorporate one of these self-care efforts into your life today.

Announcing A New Service: Pet Cremation

info@engageyourbiz.com (Engage Team) — Mon, 14 Nov 2016 00:00:00 GMT

Hutchison Funeral Home is proud to announce that we now offer pet cremations .

Pets are part of the family and we believe that you should have the opportunity to celebrate the life of your family members, both human and otherwise. The Hutchison Funeral Home recognizes that losing a pet can be just as painful as losing any loved one, and we are here to help you navigate your grief and memorialize your beloved pet.

Many pet owners prefer cremation over burial for a number of reasons. Cremating your pet means you can transport their remains with you if you have to move, whereas burial means you have to leave them behind. If an owner must make the difficult decision to euthanize their pet, many municipalities require that the pet be cremated because the injected drugs would present a risk to the water table if the animal was buried.

There are three types of pet cremations: private, partitioned, and communal. In a private cremation, a single pet is placed in the chamber and cremated individually. In partitioned cremations, several pets are placed in the same chamber with partitions. Some comingling of ashes does occur in partitioned cremations. In communal cremations, several pets are cremated at once with no partitions. No remains are returned to owners in the case of a communal cremation.

Our private pet cremation services are available for any animal weighing 100 pounds or less. After you drop off your pet with us, the cremation process will take 7 business days. The cremation process for an animal is almost exactly the same as that of a human, though it usually takes less time. We also offer a number of memorialization options such as keepsakes, urns, memory beads, or any other product featured on the Paws and Remember website. Contact us today for more information.

Funeral Planning Checklist

info@engageyourbiz.com (Engage Team) — Sun, 06 Nov 2016 00:00:00 GMT

Funeral planning can be a complicated, overwhelming process, especially when you are under the stress of grief. One of the best ways to avoid additional stress is to pre-plan funerals whenever possible for yourself and loved ones, but this isn’t always possible. There are also several issues that can’t be sorted until death occurs.

In order to make this process easier, here is a funeral planning checklist for your use.

FUNERAL ARRANGEMENTS

These tasks can be completed before death as part of a pre-arrangement.

Decide between burial and cremation
Choose a funeral home
Choose a cemetery and plot
Select a headstone and inscription
Decide if jewelry is to be returned or remain with the deceased
Pick out funeral clothing if necessary
Choose clergy, music, scripture, and eulogists
Select a burial container or cremation urn
Select photographs and videos for display at the funeral
Choose pallbearers
Sign documents for burial or cremation permit

Arrange for funeral transportation for deceased, family, clergy, and pallbearers
Assemble the obituary

Facts for the obituary might include:

Given name
Date and place of birth
Mother’s maiden name, father’s name and both places of birth
Occupation
Education
Survivors and their relationship to the deceased

IMMEDIATELY AFTER DEATH

Arrange for transfer of body from place of death to funeral home (often via ambulance)

Notify the deceased’s circle

People who may need to be contacted:

Friends
Family members
Employers
Doctors
Insurance agents (car, home, life)
Attorney
Funeral home
Cemetary

Submit the obituary
If there has been no pre-planning, search for written instructions about body disposition and funeral plans
Apply for a burial certificate
Choose a time, place, and location for the funeral service
Arrange a time, place, location, and catering services for the reception
Cancel newspaper and magazine subscriptions
Have mail forwarded
Arrange for a house sitter, if necessary

AFTER THE FUNERAL

Apply for death certificates (10-15 copies recommended)
Contact the local Social Security Office
Contact pension, retirement, and insurance agents to inquire about death benefits
Collect important documents

Try to gather these documents before death, when possible:

Will
Birth Certificate
Social Security Card
Citizenship papers
Past two years of income tax returns
Marriage license
Deeds to property
Vehicle title
Insurance policies (health, life, home)
Military discharge papers

All of the things on this checklist are important, but not every item will apply to your specific situation. Amend this list as you need to make it effective for you, and as always, feel free to contact the Hutchison Funeral Home with any questions.

Calling All Caregivers!

info@engageyourbiz.com (Engage Team) — Thu, 03 Nov 2016 00:00:00 GMT

The History Of Halloween

info@engageyourbiz.com (Engage Team) — Mon, 31 Oct 2016 00:00:00 GMT

celebrations were focused around the harvest and evolved to include ghost stories and pranks. It wasn’t until the second part of the 19th century that American immigrants — many of them Irish with Celtic roots — made Halloween a popular holiday nationwide. Costume-clad individuals began the trick-or-treat tradition by going door to door and asking for handouts.

The holiday still had a pagan, mischievous leaning to it and efforts were made in the late 1800s to get away from that. Halloween parties started to bring communities together around seasonal food and fun costumes. By the 1920s, Halloween had become a secular holiday and no longer carried religious or superstitious meaning for America. Halloween is now the country’s second largest commercial holiday, with an estimated $75 billion spent on the holiday annually.

Information sourced from http://www.history.com/topics/halloween/history-of-halloween/ .

How Is A Body Cremated?

info@engageyourbiz.com (Engage Team) — Mon, 24 Oct 2016 00:00:00 GMT

Cremation can seem a little mysterious. It’s important to understand exactly what happens in a cremation because it will help you make decisions about disposition for you and your family members.

Cremation is defined by the Cremation Association of North America (CANA) as the mechanical and/or thermal or other dissolution process that reduces human remains to bone fragments. In simpler terms, it is the process of using heat to turn human remains to ash.

Cremation happens in a cremation chamber within a facility called a crematorium. Cremation chambers are sometimes called retorts. These chambers are lined with heat-resistant bricks and preheated to a set temperature between 1400 and 1800 degrees Fahrenheit.

To prepare the body for cremation, any mechanical devices such as pacemakers have to be removed because they present a risk of exploding in the high-heat environment. The body is then placed in a rigid, combustible container (a casket or coffin may be used but is not required). The container is then placed quickly into the preheated chamber via a mechanized door.

The time it takes for a body to be fully cremated is dependent on a few factors, including the size and weight of the body, the type of casket used, the body fat percentage, and the preheated temperature of the cremation chamber. The process usually takes between 1.5 and 3 hours.

While in the cremation chamber, the container will burn down and the body begin to be dried by the extreme heat. The soft tissues, muscles, skin, and hair are burned and the bones are calcified until they break into small pieces. Any gases are released through an exhaust system, so there is rarely any smell associated with the cremation process.

It is sometimes necessary for the body to be repositioned during this process in order to ensure a complete cremation. Some crematoriums have an afterburner to help with this process and occasionally the technician will use a rake-like object to help disintegrate the remains.

The resulting remains are collected in a tray and left to cool. After the remains have cooled completely, a magnet is used to collect any objects that weren’t consumed by the fire. This could include parts of the container such as screws or hinges, as well as inorganic parts of the human body like dental work, prosthetics, surgical screws, or implants.

After all these items have been removed, the dried bone fragments are usually placed into a cremulator. This machine grinds the larger pieces of bone down into a more sand-like consistency.

Generally, a human body can create anywhere between 3 and 7 pounds of cremated remains, or cremains. The cremains, usually white in color, are returned to the family in an urn they have provided or a default container provided by the crematorium.

There are many strict rules governing cremations and all cremation providers must be licensed and regulated. The rules about cremations vary from state to state and county to county, but there is usually at least a 24-hour waiting period between death and cremation. This is sometimes extended to 48 hours.

The laws also vary about what can be done with cremains after the cremation. Generally, the following is permitted:

Keeping the cremains at home
Having them buried or stored in a columbarium
Scattering the cremains in designated spaces

All states have specific laws about ash scattering.

Now that you have this information about cremations, you will be better prepared to make funeral planning decisions for you and your loved ones.

How To Support A Loved One With Breast Cancer Diagnosis?

info@engageyourbiz.com (Engage Team) — Fri, 14 Oct 2016 00:00:00 GMT

October is breast cancer awareness month, a campaign hosted by the National Breast Cancer Foundation to raise awareness about this disease. Breast cancer affects 1 in 8 American women , and over 40,000 women in the US are expected to die of breast cancer in 2016.

In recognition of this important campaign, we are going to address how you can be an effective supporter when someone you know has received a breast cancer diagnosis.

1. Listen
Try not to react immediately after you hear about the diagnosis. It is easy to say something insensitive and even damaging if you don’t consider your own feelings before talking to someone. Try to reserve your reaction until you have had time to think about your feelings and how you can be supportive. Take the time to truly listen to what the person is telling you and make sure you understand their emotions, too.

2. Don’t just offer help - provide it
With such a major change in their life, it may be difficult for a breast cancer patient to ask for help, and they might not even know what they need. Decide on a exact date to bring a meal or come by to do a load of laundry. Respect their boundaries, but try to be helpful without too much prompting. You could even organize an online calendar to share with the person’s friends and family so you can each take on various duties.
Another great way to provide tangible help is to accompany the patient to their doctor’s appointments. A breast cancer diagnosis can be very isolating. Despite the fact that so many people are affected by the disease, your loved one may feel very alone in this experience. There can be so much information presented in these appointments and a friend can be helpful for processing and retaining that information.

3. Don’t compare
Try not to directly relate your loved one’s diagnosis to someone else’s. Everyone will experience breast cancer differently because everyone has a different medical history. Comparison is not helpful for your loved one, so avoid it. If the newly diagnosed person seems interested in communicating with other cancer survivors, it might be appropriate to share contact information.

4. Don’t let the diagnosis dominate your relationship
The diagnosis hasn’t changed the person you know and love. It is to be expected that the illness will come up in conversation, and never avoid those conversations, but also allow your relationship to continue as normal. Share experiences that you both enjoy and try to retain some semblance of normality. For example, if you and your friend both love old comedies, rent a few and make a date to come over with popcorn.

5. Only give advice when asked
Your loved one will have opinions and information coming at them from all sides when they are diagnosed with breast cancer. They may solicit your opinion or advice from you, and they may not. Respect their boundaries and don’t offer advice that wasn’t requested.

6. Be consistent
Many people will flood the loved one with support after the immediate diagnosis, but breast cancer can be a long battle. Don’t lose touch with the individual who is battling breast cancer. Remain steady in your support and stay connected. Even after the battle is “over” and your loved one becomes a survivor, try to recognize that breast cancer is part of their story and always will be.

7. Respect privacy
If someone shares their diagnosis with you, remember that it is not your information to repeat. Don’t share this information with anyone else without consulting the person who was diagnosed. Even if you are directly asked, simply explain that it isn’t your health and therefore you can’t discuss it.

8. Educate yourself
There are a number of online resources for learning about breast cancer. The American Cancer Society and the Mayo Clinic both have very informative websites. There are also several memoirs written by breast cancer survivors.

9. Support yourself, too
It can be traumatic to learn someone you love has this disease. The loved ones of breast cancer survivors are often called “co-survivors,” and there are many resources for co-survivors to get the support they need. The Well Spouse Foundation offers letter writing and support groups for partners of people living with cancer. The Cancer Support Community offers online, in-person, and phone counseling for co-survivors.

The fight against breast cancer is ongoing and there are many ways you can help. Donate to a cancer-fighting institution or join an event such as Relay for Life or Making Strides Against Breast Cancer. But the best way to help? Be a supportive, attentive friend by following the tips we’ve provided.

Options For Seniors Who Can No Longer Live Independently

info@engageyourbiz.com (Engage Team) — Fri, 07 Oct 2016 00:00:00 GMT

If it has become apparent that your aging parent or loved one can no longer live independently , there are several options for senior housing arrangements. This generally depends on the level of care required for the senior. The names for types of living arrangements can change from state to state and county to county, so it’s important to research your local options specifically.

Aging at home
If you have noticed some small changes that indicate your senior just needs some daily help, living at home (also called “aging in place”) can still be an option. If the senior isn’t facing mobility changes, lives in a safe neighborhood, and has a nearby network of friends and family that they can rely on, aging in place may be suitable. This will simply mean arranging visits for occasional help with any overwhelming tasks, such as yard or home maintenance.
“ Villages ” and Naturally Occurring Retirement Communities ( NORCs ) are concepts that allow seniors to stay in their homes even if they don’t have a social circle to rely on. Villages and NORCs provide services like in-home medical care, transportation, social activities, and other provisions for aging seniors. NORCs are generally found in lower-income communities in the United States, while villages are a relatively new concept and just 190 are spread throughout the world.
Even if an at-home solution is currently viable for the senior in your life, it’s important to consider their changing needs as they age and potential options for the future.

Independent Living
Independent living arrangements go by many names: retirement community, retirement home, or senior housing. An independent living scenario can be a set of apartments, condominiums, or even a free-standing house specifically designated for senior citizens. Independent living communities are more adapted to seniors because they are often more navigable and offer assistance with transportation and upkeep of living space. These communities often provide social opportunities, as well, which is an important element of healthy aging. Independent Living communities in the US generally cost between $1,500 and $3,500 monthly.

Assisted Living
Assisted living is an option if a senior’s needs don’t quite require the round-the-clock care provided by nursing homes, but still require more help than is provided in an independent living situation. Like independent living, assisted living arrangements go by many names: adult group home, sheltered housing, congregate care, and adult group home. In assisted living, staff is always available to help with physical mobility challenges, personal care tasks, and medications. Accommodations are often shared or individual bedrooms with communal dining and social areas, though some places will have apartments with small kitchenettes. Assisted living communities in the US generally cost between $2,500 and $4,000 monthly.

Nursing Home
This is the greatest level of intensive care an elderly adult can receive outside of a hospital. Nursing homes provide all types of care, but they are specifically suited for seniors with demanding medical needs. On-site nurses are available and each patient’s care is overseen by a licensed physician. Nursing homes in the US generally cost between $4,000 and $8,000.

Continuing Care Retirement Communities
When assessing a senior’s needs, it’s worth considering a Continuing Care Retirement Community. These are all-encompassing facilities that include each of the three levels of care — independent living, assisted living, and nursing home — in a single location. This means the senior can avoid dramatic changes as their care needs change and it also presents an opportunity for couples with differing needs to stay close to each other.

Making decisions for a senior who can no longer live independently can be challenging and confusing. Consult friends and family members for support and do thorough research. Before making any commitments, be very clear on costs and services provided by any elder housing situation.

5 Signs Your Aging Loved One Needs More Help

info@engageyourbiz.com (Engage Team) — Wed, 28 Sep 2016 00:00:00 GMT

One of the greatest challenges of adulthood is watching our parents age. This is sometimes a graceful process, but often it is not.

It can be hard for older individuals to recognize when it is time to give up some independence and ask for help. The responsibility often falls to adult children to recognize when their parents, aunts, uncles, or other seniors in their life need help.

To recognize this, an individual must monitor the senior’s activities of daily living (ADLs) and instrumental activities of daily living (IADLs). These are tasks that health care professionals examine during a functional assessment to decide how much aid a senior might need in their day-to-day life. Here are some changes one might see if a senior needs help:

Confusion and forgetfulness
While forgetfulness is a common symptom of aging and not always an indicator that a senior needs help, it can be. When forgetfulness becomes so regular that everyday tasks are challenging, it might have graduated from forgetfulness to short-term memory loss. For example, if your parent repeatedly calls with the same question, or loses their keys several times a day, it might be time to examine other elements of their life with concern.

Physical difficulties
Seniors might display changes in physical mobility that indicate a need for help. If you notice your loved one struggling with their balance or having a hard time getting up from their favorite chair, they may be struggling with other movement-oriented tasks when you aren’t around. Physical mobility is important for independent living and when this mobility starts to diminish, it might be time for another living arrangement for your senior.

Changes in self care

Self care includes activities like bathing, grooming, medication, and diet. Has your father stopped shaving? Has your mother stopped wearing lipstick everyday, which she’s done as long as you can remember? Body odor can signify a lack of bathing, which is often a result of short-term memory loss or mobility challenges associated with using the tub or shower. Soiled clothing might demonstrate that a senior is rewearing outfits several times to avoid the challenge of laundry or changing clothes.

It’s also important to monitor your loved one’s ability to stay up-to-date on their medications. Regular medication is a major part of healthy aging and if a senior can’t stay organized and regular with their dosage, it might mean they need more help.

Another factor to consider is diet and nutrition. Have there been any changes in your loved one’s weight or eating habits? Are you finding spoiled food in the refrigerator? Also pay attention to the grocery list: the appearance of more pre-packaged, convenience foods might demonstrate that your loved one has lost the interest or ability to cook healthy meals for himself. These changes can signify a need for more help with daily tasks.

Changes in home care
While a little mess is normal for all of us, watch out for stark changes in the cleanliness of a senior’s home. If a senior is having trouble managing their daily tasks, laundry might start piling up unwashed. Mail might start piling up unopened. If you’re noticing that common chores aren’t being attended to, this is a cause for concern.

Changes in behavior and emotion
Sometimes, aging and the inability to take care of oneself can cause depression, loneliness, and isolation. A senior might start avoiding social outings or spending more time watching TV and sleeping. Emotional changes are a natural consequence of losing independence and mobility and these matters must be approached with care.

If you are concerned about your senior, try to consult another family member or friend who might be able to give a second opinion. It can also be useful to talk with your family doctor or geriatrician.

If it has become clear that your loved one can no longer live alone, there are other options. Next week, we’ll discuss alternative living situations for an aging family member on the blog.

5 Ways To Protect Seniors During The Dangerous Flu Season

info@engageyourbiz.com (Engage Team) — Wed, 21 Sep 2016 00:00:00 GMT

Cooler weather brings many wonderful things: cozy fires, hot drinks, beautiful fall colors. But it also means the approach of flu season.

While all people are at risk of contracting the flu, most healthy adults can fight off the flu in a couple of weeks without any lasting effects. People over the age of 65 are at greater risk of complications from this illness. Those complications can range from mild ones, like a sinus or ear infection, to more serious ones, like myocarditis (inflammation of the heart tissue) or multi-organ failure. Studies estimate that over half of the deaths from seasonal flu are seniors, and up to 70% of those hospitalized for the flu are over 65.

Clearly, seasonal flu is an important concern for the seniors in your life. Here are some ways to keep your elderly loved ones in good health this season.

1. Ensure the senior in your life gets a flu shot every year
Even if your senior had a flu shot last year, they need to get a new one this season because the vaccine is updated to better fight the flu every year. The Center for Disease Control recommends annual flu shots for everyone over the age of 6 months. There is no reason someone from an at-risk group — like a senior — shouldn’t have their flu shot.

There are 2 vaccines that are specifically designed for seniors: a high-dose vaccine and an adjuvanted vaccine. Both are designed to create a stronger immune response to the vaccination.

Three vaccines should not be used by the senior population: the nasal spray vaccine, the jet injector vaccine, and the intradermal flu shot. Consult your loved one’s doctor for further information.

2. Ensure everyone around the senior gets a flu shot.
Because the vaccine is only 70 to 90 percent effective, even some of those who are vaccinated will get the flu. Therefore, it’s just as important that everyone who is around your loved one — their friends, family, and caregivers — gets the vaccination, too.

This is especially important if a senior lives in a nursing home or assisted living, where there are large communities in close quarters. This makes transmission of the illness much easier. If your loved one lives in a setting like this, find out about standards and requirements for vaccines in the community.

3. Keep pneumococcal vaccines updated.
One of the biggest risks for seniors who contract the flu is the development of pneumonia. Seniors should have their pneumococcal vaccination updated when they get their flu shot to ensure protection against this dangerous complication. The pneumococcal vaccination protects against all pneumococcal disease, including meningitis and other blood stream infections.

4. Be consistent with health habits.
This is one of the easiest and most important ways to protect your senior this flu season: wash your hands. Cover your mouth when you cough or sneeze (then wash your hands again). Avoid touching your eyes, nose, and mouth whenever possible.

While this is a general practice, it’s important to start considering the fragility of your loved one’s immune system. Try to protect them by being more aware of your actions and sensitive to their needs.

5. Don’t hesitate if your loved one exhibits flu symptoms.
Antiviral drugs can be useful in treating those with the flu, but they need to be used early in order to be most effective. During this season, it’s better to be over cautious. Symptoms of the flu include a runny or stuffy nose, fever, chills, body aches, cough, sore throat, and fatigue. The fever is not always present — some people have respiratory symptoms of the flu with no fever. Occasionally, vomiting and diarrhea will indicate the flu. Monitor the senior in your life closely for these symptoms and contact a doctor immediately if you suspect they might have the flu.

These precautions can help protect seniors and keep them healthy during a vulnerable time of year. Make sure everyone gets a flu shot, ensure your senior is up to date on pneumococcal vaccinations, be consistent with health habits, and monitor your senior’s health carefully during flu season. If you follow these steps, it’s very likely your family will be able to enjoy all the good things about autumn without any flu season worries!

How To Choose Between Cremation And Burial?

info@engageyourbiz.com (Engage Team) — Mon, 12 Sep 2016 00:00:00 GMT

If a loved one hasn’t designated their preference before death, the decision between a burial and a cremation may be one of the most important after-death choices a person will make. While burial is a more traditional method, cremation is increasing in popularity every year. There are a number of reasons for this, but it ultimately comes down to a personal decision that you have to make with the important people in your life. Here are some factors to consider when deciding between burial and cremation.

Cost
Cremation is cheaper than burial because it doesn’t require embalming or the purchase of a casket. When trying to decide between cremation and burial, you need to look at your budget. The costs of cremation and burial depend on your location, but cremations through a funeral home average between $2,000 and $4,000. The average cost of a funeral in the US is upwards of $7,000. This is a large difference, but there are ways to make a funeral more cost-effective, and there are also ways to spend more on a cremation. Remember that cremation is not a substitute for a funeral, as you still need to find a permanent place for the remains (often in an urn). Call around to get prices for cremations and funerals in your area, but make sure you’re asking the right questions.

Religion and Culture
The religion and culture of the deceased’s family will play a major role in the decision between cremation and burial. Until 1963, the practice of cremation was outlawed by the Catholic church, and burial is still preferred. Orthodox Judaism, Islam, and the Eastern Orthodox Church still disallow cremation, but most other religions accept the process. Some religions, like Hinduism, have historically practiced cremation and believe it to be an integral part of moving the soul into the next life.
It’s important to consider not only your own beliefs, but also those of the deceased. This can sometimes be difficult if the deceased wanted something that doesn’t align with the beliefs of the family, but it’s important to balance all perspectives.

The Environment
Many people choose cremation over burial because it saves land space, which has become a precious resource in recent years because of industrialization. There are environmental concerns for both arrangements: some worry about public hygiene with burials, and others worry about the emission of gases during cremation. Stay informed and actively research the impacts of both burial and cremation to consider this element in your decision.

Location
One very common reason that family chooses cremation is because of the flexibility it provides. Centuries ago, we didn’t move around much and often were born, raised, and died in the same town. Thus local, family burial plots were very popular. In modern times, many children live away from their roots and cremation provides a location-independent way to memorialize a person, whereas burial requires a location-specific cemetery. If your family has a family grave plot, traditional burial might be your preference. If your family is spread throughout the country (or the world) cremation might provide a more appropriate means of disposition. We have an upcoming blog post about the logistics of traveling with bodies and cremated remains that we will link here when it is published.

Other options
Cremation and burial are the most common methods of disposition but they aren’t the only options. As of 2011, over 200 people were being stored in a cryonic chamber with the hopes that they could be revived in the future. A Georgia-based company called Eternal Reefs will mix human cremains with concrete and position them in the ocean for coral reef restoration. Other options include natural burial, space burial, and resomation (dissolving of tissues).

Regardless of what you decide, your choice will be the right one, because only you can make it. Each disposition option has pros and cons and your decision is a personal and individual one. For more information about cremation and burial, contact the Hutchison Funeral Home.

Interview With The Death Writer

info@engageyourbiz.com (Engage Team) — Tue, 06 Sep 2016 00:00:00 GMT

The Hutchison Funeral Home's very own Jaimie Hutchison was featured on The Death Writer blog. Jaimie discussed the loss of his mother and his perspectives on grief in The Death Writer's Monday Mourning Q&A .

The Death Writer is Pamela Skjolsvik, a blogger and author who covers topics related to death and grief.

10 To Ask When Interviewing Funeral Directors

info@engageyourbiz.com (Engage Team) — Mon, 29 Aug 2016 00:00:00 GMT

Selecting a funeral home can be a challenging process, one most people are unprepared for. If your friend or family member hasn’t provided any information about where they would like their final arrangements, you will need to select a place that will allow you to appropriately celebrate that person’s life.
All funeral homes are different, just as all funerals are different. It is a good idea to research and visit a few funeral homes in your area to understand how they compare to one another. To find the funeral home that will work best for you, ask the following questions while you are completing your search.

1. How long have you been open?

This is a simple question, but experience matters in the funeral business. A brand new funeral home may look nice, but the staff might not have the experience necessary to provide you with the proper services. This question will also tell you how long the owners have been in business, which will give you an idea of their experience and professionalism.

2. Why are you in the funeral business?

This is a personal question for the funeral director that will give you an idea of his or her values and mission. Knowing why the director entered into this profession will help you decide if they are a person you want to work with.

3. Do you outsource any services from other providers?
It’s important to know how your loved one’s remains will be dealt with. Some funeral homes might contract out services like refrigeration, embalming, or cremation. If that is the case, you will want to know who those services are being outsourced to and then learn about that company’s reputation, as well. Outsourced services might also affect your final cost, so it’s important to be aware of this before deciding on a funeral home.

4. What memberships and licenses does the staff hold?
A good funeral director will be able to provide you with credentials for the entire staff. Like many businesses, funeral homes are required by state law to have a license to operate. Funeral directors can also elect to join professional organizations such as the National Funeral Director’s Association or the Academy of Professional Funeral Service Practice. Knowing the staff’s background and training will help you make a final decision.

5. Can I see a price list before my final decision?
The Funeral Rule is a broad federal law requires that requires all funeral directors to provide you with pricing information. If you’re visiting the funeral home, you should receive an itemized list that shows you prices of all products. The sheet should also identify any specific item that is required by law (for example, a cremation permit) and its cost.

6. What kind of funeral packages do you offer?
Many funeral homes will offer their services in packages. While you have the option of picking and choosing which services you’d like, packages can sometimes be an economic strategy for funeral planning. Compare the package prices to the individual prices on the itemized list to see which is more affordable.

7. Do you have any reviews or testimonials that I can see?

A good funeral home, especially a well-established one, will have a number of happy clients that you can speak with. Some funeral homes list these on their website . You can also check services like Yelp and Google reviews to read about previous customers’ experiences. This will help you ensure quality service.

8. Who will be working with us throughout this process?
At some funeral homes, the person who is giving you the tour might not be the person you will see on the day of the visitation. It’s important to know who will be guiding you through the process of planning and hosting the funeral. Asking this question also ensures that you won’t be working with a new employee every time you come to the funeral home. Consistency is important for good customer service.

9. What services do you offer to personalize the funeral?
Many people will want to personalize the funeral service is some way. You might have some ideas in mind, and the funeral director should be able to tell you how they can make your dream a reality. Knowing what personalization options are available will help you choose the right funeral home.

10. Why should we choose your funeral home?
This is the most important question you will ask. This is the funeral director’s time to shine and explain to you exactly what sets his business apart from the others. The answer will give you insight into the funeral home’s values, abilities, and personality.

Be an informed consumer and ask these questions when shopping for a funeral home.

5 Ways To Prepare For Death Of A Loved One

info@engageyourbiz.com (Engage Team) — Mon, 22 Aug 2016 00:00:00 GMT

All of us will cope with the death of someone we love in our lifetime. It is a natural part of life. This loss can be a confusing time and some advanced preparation can allow you to properly mourn without dealing with stressful decisions. Often, we are able to foresee this loss approaching in the case of an aging or ill family member. In these cases, we should take advantage of the extra time we have to prepare for the inevitable. This time should be used to organize the details so that we have space to mourn and heal when the time comes. Here are some ways to prepare for the death of a loved one.

1. Arrange for support
Encourage friends and family members to come visit your loved one. Make them aware that you will be seeking support and companionship in the coming days. Try to be clear about your needs with the people you trust. You may want to arrange for a friend to deal with your mail and screen your phone calls upon your loved one’s passing. If you are part of a religious community, your congregation and religious leader can also be a wonderful source of support.

Funeral homes can also provide support and direction in this trying time. Funeral directors are trained to help people cope in these situations and they can provide a wealth of comfort and useful information.

Additionally, inform your boss and place of employment about what you are facing. The sooner they know that you need time off or coverage at your job, the more effectively they can help accommodate your needs.

2. Paperwork
There might be a lot of paperwork to do upon the death of a loved one. This can include submitting an obituary to the newspaper, informing the government about the death, or closing financial accounts. Contact the necessary parties to see how you can streamline these processes. It is possible you’ll be able to complete some of these tasks ahead of time, which will make things easier. After your loved one is gone, you will want space to grieve. Paperwork will not be high on your list of preferred activities.

3. Inform people
It’s important that your loved one’s social circle knows that they are approaching the end. People will want an opportunity to make final memories.
With your loved one’s permission, contact the people in their life. Invite them to come visit. No one likes to be surprised by a funeral announcement. These phone calls are better made ahead of time.

4. Collect important documents
There are a number of documents that you need to have access to after someone dies. Some of these may be difficult to find and you might need to ask the person where they keep these items, so this collection is best done before their passing. This could include:

IDs: driver’s license, birth certificate, social security card
Tax returns
Property deeds
Safety deposit box information and keys
Titles for vehicles
Business paperwork
Marriage license or divorce papers
Investment documents such as stocks and bonds

These documents will help streamline the process of collecting on insurance policies or settling accounts after your loved one has passed.

5. Discuss and arrange funeral plans
Funerals require some decision-making and money. Many funeral homes require payment before the actual funeral service. This means you will need to consider how to handle the cost of the funeral for your loved one, if that cost has not been pre-paid or pre-arranged financially with the funeral home. One option is simply to save up the money. Alternatively, you can place the money in a bank account you have on file with the funeral home as part of a pre-arrangement. You can also use life insurance to pay for the final expenses as part of an assignment agreement.
It’s better to make these arrangements with both the funeral home and insurance provider before death happens. This way, you will know what documentation and information is needed after death to pay for the funeral service.

Find out if any funeral details have already been arranged. Often, a person will have already purchased a cemetery plot or expressed their desire for cremation. For more information on how to talk to an aging parent or loved one about death, see this article. Here are some questions to ask about the funeral arrangements:

Does your love one prefer cremation or burial?
Is there a place they would like to be interned or have their ashes spread?
Would they prefer a wake or memorial instead of, or in addition to, a funeral?
Do they have requests for content to be included in their obituary?
Is there a song they want played at their funeral or memorial service?
Is there a color or special outfit they’d like to be buried in?

Decide as many of these details as possible with the help of your loved one before their passing.

Loss is difficult. The first step of learning how to prepare for the death of a loved one is realizing that preparation is necessary. By arranging the details ahead of time, we can allow ourselves to grieve and find peace after their passing. If you are facing the death of someone you care about, use these tips to prepare efficiently.

How To Talk To Young Children About Death?

info@engageyourbiz.com (Engage Team) — Mon, 15 Aug 2016 00:00:00 GMT

Talking about death with your parents can be very challenging, but for many that challenge will pale in comparison to talking to young children about death.

At some point or another, the topic of death and dying will come up between a child and a trusted adult. This is sometimes instigated by the loss of a family member and sometimes simply a result of the child’s curiosity. Just as death is difficult to discuss with those approaching the end of their lives, it can be complicated to figure out how to talk to a child about death. As adults and caregivers, it is important to navigate this subject with caution and honesty.

Here are some tips on how to talk to young children about death and loss.

1. Be brief
Children have a limited attention span. Don’t expect them to settle down for a long, grueling conversation about the philosophical, spiritual, and physical elements of death. Instead, try to keep your answers simple and brief. The conversation shouldn’t be a “one-time” event - instead, revisit the subject often and monitor the child’s emotional and intellectual response.

2. Use concrete examples
Examples can be very helpful when discussing death with a child. Give examples of what is “gone” when someone dies: they no longer breath, eat, think, walk, or feel. Point out a dead flower or tree and compare it to a living one over a few days, focusing on how the dead plant no longer blooms or grows.

3. Ask clarifying questions
Children can get confused with lofty concepts like that of death. Check in with them regularly during the conversation to confirm if they understand what you are telling them and solicit more questions from them. “Do you feel a little confused? What else do you want to know about death?” This should be a conversation, not a lecture. Incorporate feelings, thoughts, and beliefs into the talk - both yours and the child’s. Approach the topic with open-mindedness: the child might be able to enlighten you to some ideas you have never considered.

4. Explain emotions, too
Any conversation about death and dying should cover loss and grief, as well. The emotional implications of death can be just as difficult for a child to understand as the physical concept of death. If grandfather has died, they might ask why grandmother is crying. Make it clear that sadness and grief are natural consequences of losing someone, and that it is healthy to express those emotions through tears and words.

5. Never avoid the talk
A child’s questions about death might be presented at the most inopportune moment. Often, these questions will arise at a funeral, memorial, or wake. If possible, don’t ever brush off or ignore a child’s questions about death, and never react to the questions with anger or frustration. If you must wait to answer the child’s questions - because the moment is not appropriate or you need time to prepare - be sure to revisit the subject later. These conversations will shape the way a child copes with death in their adult life, so it’s important to approach them with warmth and care.

6. Choose words carefully
We have a tendency to use many euphemisms for death: “eternal rest”, “rest in peace”, and “pass away” are just a few. These terms can be very confusing and even frightening for children. Using words like “sleep” or “rest” while talking about death can make a child afraid of going to sleep. Similarly, telling a child that someone “went away” when they died can cause them to worry about short separations from their loved ones. It’s important to think carefully about the words you use when talking to children about death and be as clear as possible.

7. Provide reassurance
Your primary goal in this conversation should be to provide your child with honest information while also reassuring them. This is one of the most intense concepts that any child will ever have to process and it’s important that the adults in their lives make them feel safe while they cope with such a challenging idea. Conversations of death will often leave children concerned about their death and the death of their close family members. Reassure them that you don’t expect death to happen anytime soon for you or the child, but if it does, there are plenty of people to take care of him or her.

8. Be prepared
When talking to children about any difficult subject, it’s important to be prepared. Children will have many questions and they look to the adults in their lives to be confident, clear, and calm.
Particularly if you are taking your child to a burial, wake, or memorial service of some kind, it is important to have a talk with them about what to expect at these events: namely, sadness and tears. Decide exactly what you want to convey to your child on a physical, emotional, and spiritual level, and prepare yourself with some terms and phrases to help you express those ideas.

This conversation will be an important one for both you and the child. Death is an extreme part of the human experience and this conversation will help provide your child with the coping mechanisms for dealing with loss and change. Use these tips to ensure you are imparting this knowledge with care and consideration.

On Death And Dying: 5 Tips For Having "The Talk" With Your Parents

info@engageyourbiz.com (Engage Team) — Mon, 08 Aug 2016 00:00:00 GMT

Roz Chast, a popular cartoonist of The New Yorker, published a graphic memoir titled Can’t We Talk About Something More Pleasant? In the memoir, Chast addresses the difficulties she faced at the end of her parents' lives. Talking about death with anyone can be an uncomfortable conversation, and it can seem almost impossible when it comes to your own parents. Regardless of the appeal of the conversation, there are crucial details you and your parents need to discuss to ensure that the end of their lives is handled the way they would want.

Procrastinating this conversation can result in financial, personal, and even spiritual burdens. Do you know if your parents have a will? What are their wishes should they get sick, or too feeble to take care of themselves? What sort of funeral arrangements have they made? What will happen to all of their things when they die? You can avoid uncertainties by having this conversation early and often.

There are many excuses for avoiding this conversations: lack of time, your parents’ unwillingness to talk about death and dying, or even the assumption that “everything will work out somehow.” Avoid the pitfalls of these excuses and consider these five things when you’re getting ready to talk about the tough issues:

1. Be honest. In this conversation, you will be required to ask some difficult questions and being frank and honest will make this easier. Will there be enough money to cover the cost of the unexpected? Do your parents wish to be kept on life support? Do they wish to be buried or cremated? Try opening your conversation with a genuine expression: “I want to know how to honor your wishes when the time comes. Do you have a will?"

2. Be considerate. As difficult as a talk about your parents’ death may be for you, it may be much more challenging for them. A lot of us often think of seniors as “on their way out,” with little to offer the world around them. After all, we lead separate lives and it’s easy to let the important things slip through the cracks. Your parents may be feeling obsolete, anxious, or even depressed. Consider these issues from their point of view and try your best to remain sympathetic when asking the tough questions. Be sure to let them know that they’re important to you and that you want what’s best for them.

3. Make plans. Making plans for the future can seem overwhelming, but it is better to make them sooner rather than later. Proper planning can relieve the heavy burdens your family might face when a relative passes away. Experiencing the death of a loved one is an emotional time in itself, and the added pressures of financial issues and other important decisions can quickly cause overwhelm. Here are a few plans that should be sorted out early:

- A plan for property, such as real estate and personal items.
- A plan for finances, including unpaid bills, taxes, and financial assets you might not know about.
- A plan for medical issues, such as emergencies and final decisions about healthcare.
- Funeral and memorial arrangements, including any wishes your parents may have post-mortem.

Write these plans down. Agree on a safe location for any important documents so they can be found easily.

4. Listen and be respectful. While it’s true that you will be the one dealing with these things once the time comes, this is about your parents and their wishes. Be sure to ask questions and listen to what is important to them. They may have stories about their families or lives that they want to tell you so that you can pass them on to others. They may want to talk about their personal views on life, death, and religion or spirituality. Be open to what they want to pass on and leave behind when they die.

5. Make the most of your time together. Break the tension and lighten the mood by reassuring your parents (and yourself) that having the important conversations early and often means you have more time to spend together, and that you are bringing yourselves closer together by being honest and open about difficult matters. After all the plans have been made, you’ll be relieved to know that your parents’ wishes are being fulfilled and that many of the difficult questions have already been decided for the future.

By talking to your parents about their final wishes early and often, you can avoid adding further stress and uncertainty to an already trying time. Make the decision to have “the talk” and start making plans today.

Get To Know The Family At Hutchison Funeral Home

info@engageyourbiz.com (Engage Team) — Wed, 03 Aug 2016 00:00:00 GMT

The history of our family business

When Mr. Hutchison first opened the Hutchison Funeral Home in 1979, he had a vision. This vision was to help and service all people in their time of need. No matter their race or background, Mr Hutchison was determined to open his doors to all people.

As a child, Mr. Hutchison would ride his bike down Detroit's Grand Boulevard and admire the shiny funeral cars parked outside of the funeral homes on that majestic street. Mr. Hutchison attended Wayne State University to study mortuary science. After completing his required courses, he became a licensed funeral director. Mr. Hutchison then fulfilled his dream of opening the Hutchison Funeral Home, at 6051 East Seven Mile Road in Detroit, MI.

Now, 35 years later, Mr. Hutchison’s dream has transformed into a successful family business. His two sons, Jaimie and Joey, work alongside him in the funeral home’s day-to-day operations. Both Joey and Jaimie followed in their father’s footsteps to become professionally trained in funeral service. Joey attended University of the District of Columbia and graduated with a degree in Mortuary Science. Jaimie attended Wayne State University and also graduated with a Mortuary Science degree.

Visiting the Hutchison Funeral Home

When you walk into the Hutchison Funeral Home, you are greeted by the relaxing sound of water from the waterfall in the front atrium. As you travel through the home, you reach the family room, an inviting lounge area where one can sit down to talk with friends and family. During the winter months, a fireplace adds even more comfort to this already cozy environment.

On the other side of the building is the casket room, which offers a large selection of casket hardware for families to choose from.

The Hutchison chapel was designed to seat over 200 people for a funeral service. It is a spacious, well-appointed place to host a funeral for those without a home church.

At Hutchison Funeral Home, our team is committed to the families of the Detroit community. Last Labor Day, the Hutchison's gave out free school supplies to students in the community to ensure a great start to the school year. The Hutchison’s are excited to do this school supply drive again this year, and we are also planning to host a winter coat drive for children and seniors in the community.

The Hutchison's strive to provide excellence and dignity in funeral service with each family they serve. Choose Hutchison, "When Service Matters.”